Tuesday Twofer

bz panel 01-13-14bz strip 01-13-14bz panel 01-14-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Expository Book Titles.

It has come that time in history when I am going to be forced to buy health insurance. Since I work for myself, I’ve no company policy of any kind that I can glom onto, and the only organization I belong to, the National Cartoonists Society, has no policy or discount rates, either. I’ve been without coverage for the past 12 years and have saved tens of thousands of dollars. But those days are gone. I have no idea where to get decent affordable catastrophic insurance and man, do I hate having to give money to the health insurance industry, something I consider to be more malignant than the Mafia. I guess that’s why the first joke posted here resonated with me. (more…)

Future Flight

bz strip 12-30-13bz panel 12-30-13 bz panel 12-31-13bz panel 01-01-14

Bizarro is brought to you today The Future!

Welcome to 2014, Jazz Pickles, and welcome to the future. Yes, it is here. No matter where you live on this tiny blue planet, in front of your place of residence right now is a flying car, which I have had placed there for each and every one of my Jazz Pickles at great expense to myself. That’s just how much I care. (more…)

“Royal” Proclamation

bz panel 11-14-13bz strip 11-14-13Bizarro is brought to you today by On The Floor?

Greetings, Jazz Pickles. I’ve been doing some thinking about my role in the Bizarro Empire and have been wondering if the moniker I’ve been using to refer to myself, “Supreme Jazz Pickle,” properly denotes the extreme honor and privilege of my office as leader of such an impressive empire of funny and smart people as you, my beloved Jazz Pickles. (more…)

Party Pummeling

Bizarro 05-19-13 WEB(For an expanded state of consciousness [and a bigger view of this comic] click on the Piñata’s chakra.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Nothing.

Modern American parents often worry about more than parents did “back in the day.” Some wonder if this popular birthday party game is teaching our kids that if you beat an animal to death with a stick, you will be rewarded with candy. On the contrary, I believe this game is a valuable tool for rooting out potential sociopaths. If your child takes that lesson from a piñata game and begins beating live animals in search of candy, you likely have a future serial killer on your hands. Or at least a slaughterhouse worker. (more…)