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Houseguests

(Find yourself wanting more embiggenation out of any of these cartoons? This desire can be satisfied by the mere clickage of the images.)

Happy holidays and other things, Jazz Pickles! I hope you’re having (or have had) a lovely holiday month and that the good times will continue to roll into the new year. As a special holiday treat, I’ve put some of my favorite Bizarro holiday cartoons of the past behind the blue links in this post, so be sure to click those and claim your BONUS CHUCKLES––you’ve earned them! (Don’t ask me how you’ve earned them. I’m only pretending to know you.) Let’s start with this mash-up of competing mythologies.

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Reindeer Games and Predators

Bizarro 12-21-14 hdrBizarro 12-21-14 WEBbz panel 12-19-14bz strip 12-19-14bz panel 12-20-14bz strip 12-20-14bz 12-20-07XmasWEB(For embiggenated views of any of these cartoons, tap it with your pointy thing.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Hilarity of Horror.

Can you believe it’s Christmas week again? It’s been about a year since the last one, so yes, I can. But doesn’t it seem that the older you get, the more often Christmas comes around?  I’d like to propose that we change it from once a year to once every 75 years, to coincide with Halley’s Comet. That way plastic nativity scenes on front lawns can benefit from the more realistic “star”.
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Merry Corporate Machine

bz panel 12-23-14bz strip 12-23-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Importance of Font Choice and Kerning in Package Design.

If you read yesterday’s post, you know that I was deathly ill over the weekend. Thanks for all the well-wishes and home remedies, Jazz Pickles. I am happy to report that the Grim Reaper has been sent on his way with nothing to show for his trouble and I am miraculously well again. Sometimes it is good to have your ass kicked by Mother Nature for a day or two to remind you of what is truly important in life: Mexican food, scotch, cigars, and all of the other things you cannot enjoy when you can’t go more than a few minutes without barfing like a freshman on spring break. (more…)

Kooky

Bizarro 12-15-13 Hdr WEB(To enlarginatify today’s kartoon, klick on the katalytic konverter of any kar in the lot.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Hostages.

Good Sunday, Jazz Pickles, and welcome to Karl’s Klown Kars. Karl is the kind of guy whose motto is “Why use another letter where a K will do?” He has krazy kavalkade sales on his klown kars each Kristmas and serves kamomile wine koolers to his kustomers. (more…)

Internet Holiday

bz panel 12-13-13bz strip 12-13-13bz panel 12-14-13bz strip 12-14-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Frozen Maxi Me.

It’s been a strange two days, Jazz Pickles. I’ve not been able to post anything on FB because I used a naughty word. If you’ve not read the story, see my previous post.

In addition to what I said yesterday regarding censorship, political correctness, and the power of Facebook, I’d like to say that Facebook has become, by its ubiquitous nature, a primary means for hundreds of millions of people to communicate for personal and business reasons. When FB shut me down, my blog readership plummeted because so many of my fans are used to finding out about it from my FB posts. This power that FB has is a new, gray area. I never thought about it before, but FB’s ability to damage the business and personal lives of their membership (estimated at over a billion) gives them a dangerous and unprecedented amount of power. I’m not sure what the answer is, but it’s a problem we should be thinking about. (more…)

Kissmoss

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(For the looking at it bigger, click the any wheel on the orange tricycle.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Don’t Just Complain, Do Something!

I’m not a big fan of Xmas, what with the hideously ugly decorations and lights, and the unbearably obnoxious songs and commercials. A couple of decades ago I gave up giving or expecting cards or gifts at this time of year, seeing the holiday primarily as a department-store construct that has succeeded in putting social pressure on most people to buy stuff they can’t afford for people who don’t need it. And since I’m neither a fan nor a devotee of any religion, it has no meaning for me in that context, either. But, since there’s no getting rid of it now, to at least make it a little more interesting, I’m going to suggest we combine Xmas with Halloween. If you see me on the street this December, please wish me a “scary Xmas.” (more…)

Thought Food

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(For a largerized view, click the 46th turkey from the left.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Discriminatory Food.

I’m fairly well known for being a vegan buzzkill on Thanksgiving but I can’t help it. I’ve long thought the arrogance of we humans believing that everything is here for us to use as haphazardly as our whims dictate, is embarrassing to our species. Biologically, humans don’t “need” to eat meat (unless we are starving in a place without plants, like the Arctic) we eat it because it tastes good. On top of that, our bodies aren’t constructed to process meat very well, which is why it gives us heart attacks, strokes, obesity, etc. You don’t see “true” meat eaters in the wild with these problems. So when you weigh tastes good against the suffering and misery of creatures that are more like us than not, it seems to me a glaring inequity. (more…)

Xmas comiX

‘Twas the night before Christmas and I was too lazy to type out “it was.”

For your holiday amusement, I present today’s cartoon PLUS a few of my favorite Bizarro cartoons from past years. Feel free to copy, save, forward, post, etc. Have a happy and prosperous whatever you’re having, Jazz Pickles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas Cavalcade O’Comics

Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Weekend!

I won’t spend a lot of time blogging today because I’ve got holiday events to attend. Since I don’t celebrate Xmas and I’m tired of Festivus, I’ve decided this year to give tribute to Kwanzaa. Some people are all, “that’s just a made-up holiday!” Well, guess what, genius, ALL holidays are made up, by definition. Nature doesn’t have holidays, you big goober. You probably feel silly now, don’t you? Well, you should but it’s the holiday season so let’s just move past that in the spirit of forgiveness. (more…)

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