Cave Trees

Bizarro 11-29-15 hdrWEB

(If it is embiggenation that you seek, click any man-made object in any cartoon.)Bizarro 11-29-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by A Favorite Holiday Bizarro Cartoon.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’m not a person who enjoys what we Americans call “the holiday season”. I like Halloween but as soon as it is over the streets, shops, and homes of our communities are filled with songs and decorations that remind one at a glance of why suicide statistics shoot up at this time of year. I’ve known and lived with people who, like the woman in my cartoon above, cannot wait until the next opportunity to decorate their home like the set of an episode of Martha Stewart, and would likely have found a way to do so even tens of thousands of years before the holiday was even invented. I don’t mean to criticize those people; I don’t hate you, I just hate some of the things you love. There’s a big difference.
(more…)

Bizarro Sunday Punnies #36

Bizarro 11-09-14 hdr WEB Bizarro 11-09-14 WEB(click any image to see it get bigger.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Serious Grooming.

Welcome to the 36th edition of Bizarro’s Sunday Punnies. The three cartoons below are my interpretations of pun ideas sent in by readers. Congrats today go to Keith R., Kandice, and Michael Capozzola!

Want to see YOUR original pun in a future edition? Just leave it here in the comments section and I’ll consider it. Here are the rules: (more…)

Eggs Duo Sticks Eggs

bz panel 04-17-14bz strip 04-17-14bz panel 04-18-14bz strip 04-18-14bz panel 04-19-14bz strip 04-19-14

 

Bizarro is brought to you by No Thanks, I’ve Already Got One.

 

My good buddy and known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh, wrote this gag for me because I have restless leg syndrome. My eggs are fine, though. Any way you look at it, this is a good yolk. (As in “joke”. Get it? ahahahahahah) (more…)

Books Hallucinations Grammar

bz panel 03-24-14bz strip 03-24-14bz panel 03-25-14bz strip 03-25-14bz panel 03-26-14bz strip 03-26-14

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Modern Survival Strategies.

 

Drawing bookstores and libraries is a chore. So are lawyers offices. Anywhere with tons of books on shelves is a huge pain in the donkey. But I persist in my tireless toiling to bring you the finest humor I can because I care about your day. (Oh, look, there’s a Tip Jar in the right margin of this blog!) The nice thing about it is, however, that it gives me plenty of places to hide “secret symbols.” Between the panel and strip version of Monday’s cartoon, there are 11. Happy hunting! (more…)

Hot Tub Surgery Funeral

bz panel 03-03-14 bz panel 03-04-14bz strip 03-04-14Want to be notified by email each time I post something new? Drop your email address into the slot below the Tip Jar in the right margin! I won’t abuse it!

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by My New Part-Time Job.

As I’ve mentioned here before, I can’t stand the idea of working for a company and having to go to meetings. Most people find a way to get through it, some probably actually enjoy it, but we artistic types live primarily inside our own heads so it is difficult for us to pay attention to people talking for long periods of time. No amount of note-taking would work for me. I’d forever be wondering what was said and then I’d get fired. A hot tub would help, though. (more…)

Dog Bless

bz panel 01-16-14bz panel 01-17-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Do NOT Click on This Picture of a Half-Naked Woman.

Have you ever been crawling in the desert, wishing you had something to drink? Neither have I nor has anyone I’ve ever known or been related to, but apparently it happens a lot because there are tons of cartoons about it. We cartooner types love to find a new angle on the classic cartoon motifs so here’s one about that guy who crawls in the desert.  It reminds me a bit of a joke my dad told me when I was a kid. It was something about a guy going into a bar and seeing a bowl of peanuts with a sign that said “Peanuts, $1,000,000 each.” The guy tells the bartender those peanuts are never going to sell at that price and he replies, “I only need to sell one.” This is where I would laugh. (more…)