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Royal Blood

bz panel 01-27-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Flotation Device.

Today’s gag is dry and subtle but I like dry, subtle gags and so do many of you Jazz Pickles so I proudly present it to you here. The idea is from my good friend, Cliff Harris, the King of Wordplay. Puns are often thought to be lowbrow and easy, but truly surprising puns that the reader would likely not have thought of themselves are a delight that usually result in a chuckle. My job here is done.bz 10-22-95 MorguePricesWEB (more…)

Uncommon Tuts

bz panel 01-09-14bz strip 01-09-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Modern Convenience!

If you have trouble remembering spelling rules, imagine what it must have been like for the ancient Egyptians and their funny-picture-writing thing. (Why isn’t there a word for that?)

I confess that I used an old piece of art for this cartoon, which is something many syndicated cartoonists do all of the time but rarely admit. I don’t like to admit it, either, but I figure what the hell? This image was perfect for this gag, why redraw it slightly differently when I can save my time for more important things like repainting my hot air balloon to look like Darth Vader? (more…)

Merry Corporate Machine

bz panel 12-23-14bz strip 12-23-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Importance of Font Choice and Kerning in Package Design.

If you read yesterday’s post, you know that I was deathly ill over the weekend. Thanks for all the well-wishes and home remedies, Jazz Pickles. I am happy to report that the Grim Reaper has been sent on his way with nothing to show for his trouble and I am miraculously well again. Sometimes it is good to have your ass kicked by Mother Nature for a day or two to remind you of what is truly important in life: Mexican food, scotch, cigars, and all of the other things you cannot enjoy when you can’t go more than a few minutes without barfing like a freshman on spring break. (more…)

Various Approaches

bz panel 12-16-13bz strip 12-16-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Ginger Bread House.

 

 

My old buddy, Dan McConnell has been thinking about fish again and in so doing, came up with this gag idea for me. One can’t help feeling sorry for the poor, struggling fish who has been flushed out of the tank, until one realizes it is not a real fish at all, but a drawing made to look like a fish. This is just part of the magic of cartooning.bz panel 12-17-13bz strip 12-17-13 (more…)

Internet Holiday

bz panel 12-13-13bz strip 12-13-13bz panel 12-14-13bz strip 12-14-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Frozen Maxi Me.

It’s been a strange two days, Jazz Pickles. I’ve not been able to post anything on FB because I used a naughty word. If you’ve not read the story, see my previous post.

In addition to what I said yesterday regarding censorship, political correctness, and the power of Facebook, I’d like to say that Facebook has become, by its ubiquitous nature, a primary means for hundreds of millions of people to communicate for personal and business reasons. When FB shut me down, my blog readership plummeted because so many of my fans are used to finding out about it from my FB posts. This power that FB has is a new, gray area. I never thought about it before, but FB’s ability to damage the business and personal lives of their membership (estimated at over a billion) gives them a dangerous and unprecedented amount of power. I’m not sure what the answer is, but it’s a problem we should be thinking about. (more…)

Gobble Gone By

Bizarro 12-01-13 WEBBizarro 12-01-13 hdr

 

 

 

 

 

(Want bigger pirates? Click on the the shirtless pirate’s nipple ring.)

Bizarro is brought to you by Spiritual Advice for the Ages.

Happy Sunday After Thanksgiving, Jazz Pickles! Did you eat a lot of food on Thursday? Did you watch football? Did you take a nap? Did you drink lots of mead and get light headed? Did you wake up behind a dumpster in Baltimore with cranberry sauce stains on your tuxedo? (more…)

Grim Twitter Smart Selfie Skeletons

bz panel 09-21-13bz strip 09-21-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Friendly Godzilla.

Okay, I’m still behind so the time has come to post multiple cartoons in a single post. Get ready for a wild ride.

I’ve done tons of Grim Reaper gags (as has every other cartoonist, except Jeff Keane in Family Circus) but this one really gives me a kick. I just love the deadpan nature of it. I’m guessing my pal, Cliff Harris the King of Wordplay got a kick out of it, too. It’s down his alley. (more…)

Flight

bz panel 09-18-13bz strip 09-18-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Night of the Living Wool.

Here’s another gag from my good buddy, Cliff Harris The King Of Wordplay.

I’m having some rotten personal problems this week and can’t generate any humor for the rest of this post. My apologies. I’ll be better soon, I’m sure.

The worst part about being a syndicated cartoonist and responsible for 365 new ideas each year is that you have to be funny even when you feel like shit. It’s a very weird thing to try to do and not very pleasant. (more…)

Space Cookies

bz panel 09-12-13 oreobz strip 09-12-13oreoBizarro is brought to you today by Suspicious Origins.

Here’s the latest offering from my good friend and occasional collaborator, Cliff Harris the King of Wordplay. It’s a simple gag but I think it’s fun.

I’m not sure where I stand on the existence of extra-terrestrial life and its likelihood of visiting this planet. Considering the vastness of the universe, it seems likely that there is intelligent life elsewhere. Whether or not there exists any capable of visiting here is endlessly debatable. Humans have a natural habit of seeing things that aren’t there and building stories around the experience, so my rational side is inclined to dismiss UFO stories. On the other hand, I saw a video once of 8 or 10 very respectable citizens of Earth testifying at length before a Senate committee about experiences they’d had that defied any other explanation. These weren’t random rednecks (like Cliff) or creative yahoos (like me) but people who held high-ranking positions in the military and business world, so they had plenty to lose by saying things into a microphone that most people would consider wacky. Based on that one video, I’m still skeptical but open minded. It would not surprise me greatly to find out either were true. (more…)

Ups and Downs

bz panel 08-05-13bz strip 08-05-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Directions.

Today’s comic is another product of the spongy, wrinkled brain of my good friend, Cliff Harris The King of Wordplay.

This cartoon reminded me of when I was a kid growing up in a small town called Ponca City, Oklahoma. In the summers, I would visit my grandparents in Kansas City for a week and one of those days was always spent with my grandmother taking my cousin and me downtown on the bus to have lunch at the soda fountain at one of the big department stores there. We’d then ride the elevators up and down a bit, buy a moderately-priced toy (a bag of tiny, plastic cowboys and indians or army men) and head back home. In Ponca City, where I was from, there were no buses or elevators, so riding these cosmopolitan devices passed as an exciting day in the big city for me. I clearly remember that on a number of occasions, after we’d returned to grandma’s house, I could sometimes feel my stomach rise and fall, recalling the feeling I had in the elevators. I haven’t thought of that in years and it hasn’t happened since. If I want that feeling now, I have to jump out of a plane, which (unless I don’t wear a parachute and sneak aboard the plane) is considerably more expensive.bz 12-28-95 bike helmet (more…)

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