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Blurry Superstition Death Paternity Donut Cell Hives

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sheer Luck.

Have you ever felt that the world is suddenly wider and that the rules have changed so that everything you were used to before is now somehow inapplicable and you are starting from scratch? I have had that feeling this week because my blog got incorporated into King Features’ Mighty Network of Cartoonist Blogs and Other Things Designed to Help Cartoonists Make a Living Which is Harder Than You Might Assume. (I don’t think that is the literal name of their new network, but you get the idea.) In other words, the format of my blog changed a little and now the way I post is different and it slows me down. It’s not your problem, of course, I just wanted to vent because you are my only friend. (Yes, you.) (more…)

Bitter Pachyderm Philtrum Swashbuckling Drinker Teen Whale

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Time Magazine.

“If you’re only reading the cartoons on BizarroBlog, you’re missing most of Piraro’s genius.”––Time Magazine

Okay, that never appeared in Time Magazine. But from some of the comments that readers make, I know that plenty of people are only scanning the cartoons briefly and skipping all of this delicious text that I pour so much of my heart and soul into. So I thought maybe a phony quote would encourage them to read on. Am I a bad man? Yes, but it has nothing to do with that phony quote. (more…)

Hit Gravity Poison Purr Lust Poop

Bizarro is brought to you today  by My Magazine Cover Shot.

Again, I’ve only managed to post once this week. Things are getting away from me here at Bizarro International Headquarters.

Let’s review the week: Our first cartoon is a great pickup line for the next time you see someone attractive on an elevator. Please use it with my blessing and let me know how it turns out. (more…)

Weight Axe Curd Crook Band Strangle Furniture Amputee

Wow! This weekend’s post is a Jazztown Hootenanny Festival of Amusingness! SO many cartoons to catch up on!

(To imagine what this would look like larger, click the tiny wizard’s left ear. [His left, not your left.])

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sports Gardening.

I’m really happy with this Wizard of Oz collaboration with my good buddy, the King of Wordplay, Cliff Harris. Very elaborate art, very subtle gag. My favorite part of the art in this one is the glossy floor; I always enjoy coming up with special effects. By the way, if for some reason you don’t get this joke, the punch line lies in the abbreviations for “ounces” and “pounds.” By the way Part 2: the reason that the word “pounds” is abbreviated with letters that do not appear in the actual word is because they stand for “libra,” the scale. The reason “ounces” is abbreviated the way it is, is because the unit of measure we call an ounce was first used on the set of The Wizard of Oz, because they needed a way to measure the weight of the munchkins. I love trivia like that. (more…)

Zombie Mummy Vampire Pirate Toado

Bizarro is brought to you today by He Man.

Here are five cartoons leading up to Halloween. If you are from a country which does not celebrate Halloween and you have never heard of it, it is a holiday at the end of October during which we Americans disguise our children as murderers, monsters, and demons and send them door to door asking for handouts. (more…)

Gray Matters

(To make it big like a rhino’s butt, click any brain in a jar.)

Bizarro is brought to you by Halloween HORROR!

Once you’ve recovered from the image below that first link, dear reader, I encourage you to click on the above image and view it large because I put a lot of effort into this art.  And I added a few small jokes on the wall posters that I don’t want you to miss, but with screen resolution be so low on computer, I fear you’ll not be able to read them. On the poster behind Frank it says, “Diversity — Because you’re made of different people.” On the anatomy poster behind the mad doctor, the hands are labeled as “Paws,” the thigh label says “Lap,” the legs tag says “Getaway Sticks,” the feet say “Dogs.”  I thought this was a fun, non-traditional Halloween cartoon that you might enjoy. If you did not enjoy it, please don’t tell me; I live for your approval. (more…)

The Accidental Plagiarist

Here’s a bit of a sticky wicket I thought you Jazz Pickles might find interesting. After my pantsless doctor cartoon appeared in papers the other day I got an email from my friend and colleague, Dan Reynolds. Dan is a terrifically talented and successful cartoonist whose work I have always admired. It seems my doctor cartoon is uncomfortably close to a very popular one that he did some years ago. (more…)

Bum Head Hunchback Lion Mime Self Signs

(Doth thee desire to view this cartoon biggeth? If so, clicketh the plaid shorts.)

Bizarro is brought to you by Robot Bunny.

It’s been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon, but I don’t live in Lake Wobegon and that’s one reason why I haven’t posted on this blog all week. I live in LA and it’s been busy here. Since I last posted, Rodney King died. I rioted for three days but no one noticed. After that, Jerry Sandusky was found guilty on 45 of the 48 charges he was on trial. YES! I knew that charge 47 was bogus! When I heard the verdict, I considered rioting again, just for good measure, but I was still tired from the Rodney King thing. (more…)

Paint Lemon Sleep

Bizarro is brought to you today by Ape Auto.

Like many cartoonists, I enjoy dabbling in the various categories of cartoon cliches: one-palm-treed desert island, beggar with a sign, guy crawling through a desert, etc. This is one of those gags and was a collaboration with my good friend, Cliff Harris. The art is the key to conveying this idea; if it isn’t right, the minimalistic caption wouldn’t make any sense. I enjoyed drawing this and referenced the famous “Painted Desert” for the coloring. But like many of the earth’s most beautiful natural wonders, when reproduced by a human hand, it looks phoney and overdone. Oh well. (more…)

Less Than a Dozen Cartoons

Bizarro is brought to you today by Eye Jinx.

Are you a person who enjoys things? I am too. Here’s something I hope you’ll enjoy: between five and seven cartoons.

The first one is about how Newton discovered gravity when an apple conked him on the noggin. The truth is, the whole story is a myth. Newton was not hit by an apple, but a grand piano falling from the fourth floor of those old, crumbly European buildings they have everywhere over there. The blow to his head caused him to go crazy and make up a bunch of sciency stuff about gravity and some other things. It was hilarious. (more…)

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