Good Game

Bizarro 03-08-15 hdrWEB Bizarro 03-08-15 WEBbz panel 03-02-15 bz panel 03-03-15 bz panel 03-04-15 bz panel 03-05-15 bz panel 03-06-15 bz panel 03-07-15(For a more festive experience, click any of these cartoons and make it bigger!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Fear of Balls.

IN the comments section of this cartoon on King Features’ site, a couple of readers were debating whether or not I was a sports fan. I’m one of those rare Bohemian, artistic types who is. I follow football and hockey pretty closely and as a kid played pretty much any sport my school or community offered: football, baseball, basketball, track, soccer, tennis. I gave most of it up in high school because I was too small to be given a decent chance by short-sighted coaches and also because I began to be acutely aware of the social differences between  creative types and jock types. But I still enjoy sports and physical activity of most kinds. (Except for those featured in the “Jackass” movies.) What I don’t enjoy (and never have) are interviews with players and coaches––as dull and predictable as political debates.
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Java Jail Ovum Puke

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Products To Avoid.

 

There’s been a lot in the news lately about various companies looking into using small drones like the one in this cartoon for home delivery of products bought online. I can’t believe this idea will “fly,” considering it will mean that eventually there will be thousands of little robots flying around with boxes hooked to the bottom, getting shot down by everyone from mischievous kids to thieves who hope to get lucky and not end up with a pair of fluffy slippers some grandmother ordered. This idea came from the brilliant and handsome, if not hygienic, Dan McConnell, a good friend and cartoonist colleague. If you want to see more of his work, he hangs out here. (more…)

Nose Lice Feet

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Clever Ways to Dispose of Evidence.

My Friday offering this week is an obvious reference to the old adage, “You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”  Now you can.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This cartoon is an attempt to ruin your next selfie. The only reason school children get head lice more often than adults is that they are more likely put their heads together. Parents get them from their kids by hugging them. So it stands to reason that the “selfie” craze will be a boon to the head lice community. Thus far, we have ascertained that cell phones give people brain tumors and head lice. What next? Rotating Buttock Syndrome? (more…)

Awaken the Spirit

bz panel 10-04-13bz strip 10-04-13Bizarro is brought to you today by And Whose Would Want To?

I like to keep an open mind and learn as much about life as possible, not for some end gain, but because it amuses my mind and I’ve found that keeping my mind occupied is one of the main tenets of a happy existence. I’ve long been interested in religion and the human compulsion for belief in a higher power and a grand scheme to life. Accordingly, on my continuing mission to learn new things about this topic, I’m going to go see “The Book of Mormon,” a musical by South Park creators, Matt Stone and Trey Parker. I don’t know nearly as much about Mormonism as I’d like and I’m hoping this experience clears some things up for me. (more…)

Pet Parking Eunuch Humping Loaf

Bizarro is brought to you today by Parenting.

I took some time off to travel but am happy to be back in my captain’s chair here at Bizarro International Headquarters.

Accordingly, here are a passel of cartoons to catch you up to date. First up is a cartoon that proved popular among readers. Personally, I never use my first pet’s name as a security question because, although I loved the dog, I never liked her name: “Penny.” I don’t have anything against the name per se, but my older sister picked it and so it seemed feminine to me. I was rooting for “Spike” or “Killer.” She looked not unlike the dog in this cartoon, except that her spots were brown. Like you care. (more…)

Facebook Toot Stink Seltzer

Bizarro is brought to you today by PC or Not PC?

Hello, mates. (Imagine me saying this paragaph with an English accent.) Do you like jolly good fun? Well you’ve come to the right drum and bass, by George, because that’s what I’ve brought you today with these four brand new, hot-from-the-crumpet-oven cartoons! Can you find all 7 icons (or “secret symbols”) in this large Sunday cartoon above? It’s a tough one. To make it bigger, click on the lady’s shoe. (more…)

Juvenile Juice Java

Bizarro is brought to you today by Not Very Smart Car.

I’ve been a bad vegan today. I am sitting outside on my patio by the pool (I don’t have a pool, but I can tell by the sounds I hear that there is one just on the other side of the giant hedge that separates my tiny back yard from the house’s behind me) answering emails and writing this blog. A small housefly kept landing on my arm and bugging the crap out of me (which is what they do and where the verb “bug” came from) and I got fed up and smacked him. Okay, I smacked at him about 30 times before I finally connected, but the end result is the same: now it’s dead. Bad vegan. Bad! (more…)

Four for Fun

Bizarro is brought to you today by Tattoo With Hidden Bizarro Bunny Just in Time for Easter.

I don’t have a lot of time today to pontificate (everyone say “Awwww”) so here are a bunch of cartoons with brief notes to catch us up to date.

Robot: Some people may not recognize Rosie the Robot from The Jetsons, but that’s her. The pic she’s holding up is one of those robots that goes room to room cleaning your floor. I suspect most people buy them to see how their cat will react. This gag came from my colleague, Wayno. Here’s his story about it. (more…)