Loud Food Kilt Floppy Disk

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Epiphanies.

 

Personally, I never accept anything offered for free for fear that strings will be attached. I don’t like strings. Not even free ones.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This cartoon is autobiographical because while writing cartoons one day and thinking about zombies, I suddenly realized that they could eat their own brains. Sorry it is so disgusting. (more…)

Books Hallucinations Grammar

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Modern Survival Strategies.

 

Drawing bookstores and libraries is a chore. So are lawyers offices. Anywhere with tons of books on shelves is a huge pain in the donkey. But I persist in my tireless toiling to bring you the finest humor I can because I care about your day. (Oh, look, there’s a Tip Jar in the right margin of this blog!) The nice thing about it is, however, that it gives me plenty of places to hide “secret symbols.” Between the panel and strip version of Monday’s cartoon, there are 11. Happy hunting! (more…)

Magic Chuckle Time

bz panel 02-15-14bz strip 02-15-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Easy At-Home Magic.

I remember the first time I visited a magic shop. I was about 8-years-old and was brought there by my grandfather. My cousin and older sister were with us as I recall, and we each were allowed to pick out one “trick.” The funny thing is that I don’t remember the trick I bought because the one my sister bought was the one that ended up fascinating all of our relatives when we got back home. I vividly remember being so jealous that she had made a better choice than I had. (more…)

Dog Blog

bz panel 06-11-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Prehistoric Dogs.

Many readers already know that I’m an ethical vegan, meaning that I’m vegan because I don’t believe in cruelty to animals. Vegans are routinely against hunting (in cultures where it is not necessary for survival) for obvious reasons. I am, too, but I must say that hunting is the least cruel way to put meat on your table. (Unless you’re doing it with a bow and arrow.) The suffering an animal experiences being shot in the wild is many times less than what happens to “food” animals in commercial production facilities and slaughterhouses. This is true even of “free range” and “cage free” chickens. This is an example of how FDA-approved “free range” chickens live in most cases. At least animals killed in the wild lived a natural life and died relatively suddenly. Still, I don’t hunt because I don’t feel comfortable killing things for fun.bz strip 06-11-13 (more…)

Party People

bz panel 05-24-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Daily News.

Sorry for the absence, Jazz Pickles. I’ve been out of town for four days at our annual National Cartoonists Society’s convention. This year it was in Pittsburgh and we had a blast.  Here are the two cartoons I missed posting last week after I’d gone, plus a few highlights and pictures from the Reubens (as we call our yearly get-together.) (more…)

Tiny Pad Tweet

Bizarro is brought to you today by Cranky Bikers.

I got an email today from a graphic designer whose name is “Klein”. Since he works with graphics, is a master of keyboard shortcuts, and wears nothing but a tanktop-T and boxer shorts, he felt a special kinship to this cartoon. I love that no matter how randomly I choose a name for a cartoon, I often hear from readers of the same name in similar circumstances. Sometimes it has been uncannily similar. If I could remember a couple of instances, it would have made this paragraph worth reading. (more…)

Doctor Online Alien Soup

Bizarro is brought to you today by Foot Fetish.

I’ve been busier than a long-tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs this week, so I’m late on posting these. I hope I haven’t lost either of my readers.

Cartoon #1 is a visual joke, nothing more. Take it however you like. The patient is fashioned after my good friend, Tiny Tony T. Smith, who recorded my someday-to-be-released album recently. Eventually, I’m going to sell a CD of four or five of my original songs. They’re all serious songs, not meant to be comedy, but the lyrics are clever (or so I’ve heard) and people often get a chuckle or two from them. Would any of you be interested in buying said album and if so, how much should it cost? Maybe I can figure a way to download them for 99 cents a piece like they do on iTunes instead of creating 3-D discs. I don’t know anything about that stuff. (more…)