Today’s Sunday cartoon is a soft joke but one that made me smile. The mythical notion of humans just popping up in life as full-grown, modern adults and trying to negotiate the world around them is always amusing to me, but this is a wrinkle I’ve never thought of before. The utterly casual callousness of Adam and Eve as the quintessential “new parents” is devilishly delightful: “Sorry kid. We have no idea what we’re doing, and how could we?” I felt that way with my first daughter, who was born a full decade before I had any business being a parent. (more…)
Have you ever wondered what would happen if a magician died in the middle of his act, just after sawing a lovely lady in two but before he puts her back together again? I have spent a lot of time wondering about this and several things have occurred to me: (more…)
There are few things more embarrassing for homo sapiens than to be caught in a lie, especially when it is accompanied by flaming trousers. For this reason, I wear flame-resistant underwear to protect my twig and berries. Sure, it makes my silhouette a little less flattering, but once I let go of a ripsnorter and my breeches burst into flames, I can relax in the confidence that my charred buttocks will not be on display for all to see.
I’ve never been on trial but I’m sure it sucks. Worse yet, would be when trusted companions testify against you. All those years you thought that person was your confidant and loyal friend till the end, then suddenly, they’re telling your secrets to a public court. That would really suck. (more…)
“If you’re only reading the cartoons on BizarroBlog, you’re missing most of Piraro’s genius.”––Time Magazine
Okay, that never appeared in Time Magazine. But from some of the comments that readers make, I know that plenty of people are only scanning the cartoons briefly and skipping all of this delicious text that I pour so much of my heart and soul into. So I thought maybe a phony quote would encourage them to read on. Am I a bad man? Yes, but it has nothing to do with that phony quote. (more…)
1. Cinn-a-bon is a small restaurant chain I see a lot in shopping malls and airport food courts. A while back my manager, Jeff Topper, and I were kibitzing on the phone and came up with this idea together. I particularly like the devil asking if he can “hurt” the customer instead of help. A reader mentioned that the customer should have said the buns were “tempting.” Also a good caption but I like mine better. (more…)