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Score!

bz panel 10-08-13bz strip 10-08-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Head Triptych.

This delightful image of a shortsighted sports enthusiast comes to us from the disheveled mind of my friend and colleague, Dan McConnell. Dan tells me he conceived of Super Head Ball Extreme from his own experience. Apparently, he regularly makes a sport of finding new ways to knock himself unconscious. And believe me, the world is a safer place when Dan McC is inanimate. You can see more of Dan’s art here. (more…)

Push

bz panel 10-03-13bz strip 10-03-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Early Helmet.

If you enjoy watching people squirt things from their bodies, this sport is for you. My good friend and colleague, Dan McConnell, conceived of this cartoon during a visit to the alternate-world of hallucinations in which he spends most of his time these days. (A word to the wise, discount LSD is not always a good thing. You get what you pay for.) In McC’s exciting, inner world, men give birth instead of women and they’ve made a sport of it. Of course they did. That’s what we men do, even in McC’s catawampus world. For more about McC, check out his Front-of-your-head-book page. (more…)

Grim Twitter Smart Selfie Skeletons

bz panel 09-21-13bz strip 09-21-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Friendly Godzilla.

Okay, I’m still behind so the time has come to post multiple cartoons in a single post. Get ready for a wild ride.

I’ve done tons of Grim Reaper gags (as has every other cartoonist, except Jeff Keane in Family Circus) but this one really gives me a kick. I just love the deadpan nature of it. I’m guessing my pal, Cliff Harris the King of Wordplay got a kick out of it, too. It’s down his alley. (more…)

Forever Silent

bz panel 08-08-13bz strip 08-08-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Tragic Mistake.

Here’s a gag that is a collaboration with my pal and cartoon colleague, Dan McConnell. I like the simple concept behind this gag, that the mime spends eternity much the way he spent life––trapped inside an invisible box.

In my CLASSIC CORNER today, I feature a cartoon I did back in 2012 with a similar concept, but without the hands in the invisible box position. I like this newer version and think it is different enough to use it even though it touches on ground I’ve been to before. Check out Dan’s FB page for more of his work. (more…)

Hallmark Holiday

Bizarro 06-16-13 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Father of the Year.

Happy Father’s Day, Jazz Pickles. For years I’ve been putting a “Happy Father’s Day, Dad” message along the border of my Father’s Day cartoons but I forgot this year. But it wasn’t because I forgot my pop, it was because in past years I was using a paper calendar to see what date the cartoon I was submitting would appear in papers (my Sunday cartoons are drawn and submitted four to six weeks ahead of the print date) but this year I am using a calendar on my computer which doesn’t have holidays on it. I missed the margin note in my Mother’s Day cartoon for the same reason. Sorry Dad! (And Mom, a few weeks back.) (more…)

Penal Paper

bz panel 05-29-13This episode of Bizarro is brought to you by Good Times.

I’m not particularly fond of drawing office scenes, especially opulent offices like the sort you expect from lawyers and judges. They’re tedious and boring. But I liked this gag from my good friend and colleague, Dan McConnell enough that I bit the bullet and did it. (Kids: do NOT bite bullets. It is cheaper to have your cheek pierced at a tattoo shop.) (more…)

Omnibus Bizarro

bz panel 05-07-13Bizarro is brought to you by My New Desktop Image.

I’ve been so busy this week that I have neglected my blog. I have brought shame upon my entire village. I know that I can never adequately compensate my dozen-or-so readers who have searched in vain for a new Bizarro cartoon all week, but I can, at least, rectify the situation by posting the week’s adventures here and now. (more…)

A Wasted But Amusing Life

Bizarro is brought to you today by Life!

I have mixed feelings about the Internet. On the one hand, it is clearly the most life-changing and useful tool that human kind has invented since the wheel. (Thanks, Al!) On the other hand, because of it, we all lose years of our lives looking at mindless entertainment like cute cats, funny videos, and porn. Am I glad I grew up in a time before it was available? Yes; I spent a lot of time outdoors exploring the world from micro to macro, which I would not have done had I been given access to a computer. Now that I have it at my disposal, would I want to live without the Internet for even a single week? No. Not a chance. Back away from my computer or I’ll stab you with these scissors. (more…)

Ice King

(For an embiggenated version of this cartoon, click on the penthouse apartment at 439 East 57th St.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Dignity in Death.

This cartoon was a bear to draw. I didn’t want an unrealistic city scene and couldn’t find just the right photo reference, so I built the entire city of Manhattan in actual size and took my own pic. It took me 388 years. You can visit it here. (more…)

Founding Boomerang Jumper Dog Stick Wig

Bizarro is brought to you by The Glories of Technology.

Today in my weekly roundup of Bizarro cartoons we begin with one that ran on President’s Day (in the U.S.).  People are fond of claiming that nothing gets done in Washington but the truth is likely closer to “too much” gets done in Washington. I’m not one of those people who believes that everything would be fine if the government did nothing other than raise an army, but I do think it would be nice if the Patriot Act was scrapped. And also the ludicrous TSA ban on liquids. (more…)

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