A Mile In My Shoes

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Bizarro is brought to you by Striking Resemblances.

Remember when you were young and in a band and going to loud concerts and you ignored the advice of adults who warned you about protecting your hearing?  Well, as clueless and uncool as those decrepit geezers seemed, either they were correct or they cruelly cast a voodoo spell on you as punishment for ignoring their advice, and you can now only hear about 85% of the syllables people aim at you. Or at least, that’s what happened to me. It is for this reason that I stay away from skydiving and other activities during which a misunderstanding could result in my death.
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Shrinks, Nuts, Crooks, Tramps, Cons

bz panel 02-10-14bz panel 02-11-14bz panel 02-12-14bz panel 02-13-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Strange Fetish.

 

As is often the case, my Monday and Tuesday were too busy with Bizarro deadlines for me to post, then I got arrested on Wednesday and was still unable to post, but now I’m out on bail so here at long last are Mon’s, Tues’s, Wed’s and Thurs’s cartoons from this week. (more…)

Treaty Cop Lawyer Clown Profanity

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Jazz Pickle Tribute.

I know a guy somewhere in Texas named Brian Levy. He’s always suggesting scenarios from which a cartoon might be born. I like his suggestions because he doesn’t usually submit an punch line, but rather a concept that gets my brain bubbling. In this case, he suggested something like, “what if rock, paper, and scissors signed a peace treaty?” I love the result. (If you don’t understand this joke, you’ve never played “rock, paper, scissors.” If you’re in a country where people don’t play this, look it up on the Intertubes. If you’re in the U.S. and still don’t know this game, abandon your cave, return to civilization and ask the first person you see to explain it.) (more…)

You’re Not Hallucinating

(If you are among the dozens of people all over the world who want to see this image larger, do what half of them are doing all across the nation –– click the elephant!)

Bizarro is brought to you by Well Wishes.

Today, I would first like to extend my most sincere apologies for not having posted this cartoon sooner. What a excrement noggin I am for publishing a cartoon that tells people to go directly to this web site, then have nothing posted there about the reason why. I hate myself and you should, too. (Hate me, not yourself.) (more…)