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Saw Bones

bz panel 06-27-13bz strip 06-27-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Wonders of X-Rays.

Some readers will doubtless wonder why I reversed the image between the panel and strip version of this cartoon, so to save myself multiple responses, here’s why: A properly-constructed joke has the punch line as far toward the end as possible. When I’m drawing a visual joke such as this one, I ask myself which is funnier, to read the words then see the pic, or vice versa? This one could’ve gone either way, really, but I decided that knowing the patient is the Grim Reaper makes reading the words a little funnier. In the panel version, of course, the words are always at the top so there isn’t as much choice, but since the image is more compact, the mind sees the whole thing at once anyway. In some cartoons, I try my best to lead the reader’s eye from one thing to the next, arriving at the punch line (be it verbal or visual) last. (more…)

Kick it Good

bz panel 06-12-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Why Have I Not Heard About This?!

I got some questions about this cartoon, which I knew I would. Not least of which were Klamelda and my mother, both of whom were a little puzzled.

From time to time I’ve enjoyed doing strange cartoons that don’t have an obvious meaning. This one somehow relates to the phrase “kicking the bucket,” which means “to die.” Since this guy’s bucket is one of a man half his age, he likely won’t be dieing soon, I guess. I think. I don’t know. You figure it out and let me know.

Party People

bz panel 05-24-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Daily News.

Sorry for the absence, Jazz Pickles. I’ve been out of town for four days at our annual National Cartoonists Society’s convention. This year it was in Pittsburgh and we had a blast.  Here are the two cartoons I missed posting last week after I’d gone, plus a few highlights and pictures from the Reubens (as we call our yearly get-together.) (more…)

Eyes on the Prize

bz panel 05-13-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Tiny Dermatologist.

In detective dramas, a little cash often improves someone’s memory. Some brainy researchers at a famous medical institute decided to test if this same principle would apply to other sorts of human functions and got some interesting results. In a study performed on 627 people with a variety of conditions from poor eyesight to dry skin to arthritis to bullet wounds to the head, they found that virtually every patient who received money claimed to feel better and asked for an ongoing cash-injection treatment program. One patient, a germaphobe, refused to take the “filthy, disease-ridden” cash, but this result was not common and classified as an anomaly. (more…)

Omnibus Bizarro

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I’ve been so busy this week that I have neglected my blog. I have brought shame upon my entire village. I know that I can never adequately compensate my dozen-or-so readers who have searched in vain for a new Bizarro cartoon all week, but I can, at least, rectify the situation by posting the week’s adventures here and now. (more…)

Teeth Pie Cat Marriage Pain Sleep






Bizarro is brought to you today by Previous Pie Perpetration.

As predicted, the second cartoon in this lineup, which appeared in papers on Tuesday, confused a lot of readers. To understand it, you  have to both be a regular reader of Bizarro and connect it to this first cartoon, which appeared in papers on Monday. (more…)

Surviving Magic Alien Harry

(To see the above celebrities in all their TMZ glory, click on Snooki’s butt.)

Bizarro is brought to you by Freak Shows.

I admit I’ve never seen any of the “Survivor” TV shows. I’m not a big fan of that sort of reality game-show stuff, but I get the gist. It was therefore simple (and a LOT of fun) to imagine one in which my favorite celebrities to despise are left on an island to fight it out amongst them selves and never be heard from again. Simon Cowell is one I missed. Can’t stand that guy. I didn’t want to mess with caricatures, but if you click on the image and blow it up, you should be able to spot Paris, Bruce Jenner, Kim Kardashian, Richard Simmons, Donald Trump, and Snooki. The others are just cast members of Jersey Shore or lesser Kardashians. (more…)

Lacto Piggy Rope Horn

(For a larger, more beautiful view of this cartoon, click the left eye of the man wearing the milk ski mask.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Creative Parenting.

Not long ago my tiny friend, Victor the Boy Genius, suggested some alternate milk fashions akin to the famous milk mustache ads everyone in America has seen in the recent years. I added to them and created this hilariously, humorously, hysterically funny comic. Oh my goodness, the laughs just keep coming. To add to his already terrifyingly overblown ego, I used a picture of him as the model for the cartoon boy in this cartoon. Good lard, I would not want to be around Victor the Boy Genius today. His head would be the size of Omaha. (For my foreign readers, that’s a stunningly beautiful city and a MAJOR tourist attraction in the middle of the United States somewhere.) (more…)

Boxer Shorts Latin Gay Bug Beaver

Bizarro is brought to you today by Happy Ass.


This week I’ve got a few gags with which I am pleased with the art. I like the gesture of the body of this boxer, as he sits swollen and defeated. Most cartoonists don’t bother with these kinds of details but I really enjoy them and hope you do, too. (more…)

Patch Reptile Flea Crow Funeral Hotel Marriage

(For a largerized version of this cartoon, click on any eye patch.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Organic Hairdo.

Someone has been too busy this week to post on his blog. Someone is sorry. Someone is making up for it by posting all of the cartoons from this week. Someone hopes you enjoy them. (more…)

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