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Nutty Egyptian Greeks

Make this cartoon oh-so-bigger by clicking on the suitor’s teeth.

Bizarro is brought to you today by Valentine’s Day Gifts.

Because my cartoons are drawn and submitted many weeks before they appear in the paper, I often miss doing holiday cartoons. (But not always.) But this year, I actually have THREE Valentine’s Day-related cartoons running in the next three days. Perhaps it is because I am going through a divorce and V Day takes on a different tone. Maybe even a pallor. My cartoon for Valentine’s Day itself is pretty dark, albeit it completely true. But you’ll have to wait until Tuesday to see it. (more…)

Reaper Duck Stupid Rebel Hand Ball

Bizarro is brought to you today by Trojan!

The deadline gods conspired against me this week and I have had no time to post on this blog about my daily cartoons. I hope that next week will be less Sisyphussy. (NEW WORD ALERT!)  I think there are some good cartoons in this batch, but let’s let you be the judge. (more…)

Velvet Rope Baby Manual

Bizarro is brought to you today by Things You Should Not Do at the Mall.

Good day to you, Jazz Pickles, how is your hangover? Mine is rocking my cranium like Bandfinger in 1978, after all of the wild and wuzzy celebrations for the 27th anniversary of Bizarro yesterday. Man, I was up well past midnight just boogying down and keeping it real. Today, it is still so real that I can’t get it to leave the kitchen. I’m not even sure what it is. (more…)

Death Food Turkey

Bizarro is brought to you today by Jewish Christmas.

I’m in a big rush today so I can’t write much. Thanks to all the Bizarro Jazz Pickles who showed up to my talk at MoCCA last night on a cold, wet, damp, chilly, soggy, rainy, freezing, windy, blustery, crappy night. You’re sweet. (Though some of you were dill.) (more…)

Anal Painting

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Costume That Wouldn’t Come Off.

I thought I might get an editor or two who did not want to publish this cartoon because of the phrase, “anal probe.” But no one blinked and it made it into all my client papers. I did, however, get a brief note from a reader who said it was “very inappropriate for a family newspaper.” (more…)

Doctor Online Alien Soup

Bizarro is brought to you today by Foot Fetish.

I’ve been busier than a long-tailed cat in a roomful of rocking chairs this week, so I’m late on posting these. I hope I haven’t lost either of my readers.

Cartoon #1 is a visual joke, nothing more. Take it however you like. The patient is fashioned after my good friend, Tiny Tony T. Smith, who recorded my someday-to-be-released album recently. Eventually, I’m going to sell a CD of four or five of my original songs. They’re all serious songs, not meant to be comedy, but the lyrics are clever (or so I’ve heard) and people often get a chuckle or two from them. Would any of you be interested in buying said album and if so, how much should it cost? Maybe I can figure a way to download them for 99 cents a piece like they do on iTunes instead of creating 3-D discs. I don’t know anything about that stuff. (more…)

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