But…

Bz panel 07-06-13bz strip 07-06-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Public Nudity.

This is the sixth and final installment in my guest cartoonist week, starring J.C. Duffy. Tomorrow’s big Sunday cartoon will be my own. Thanks again to J.C. for filling in for me a few weeks back when these cartoons were due, while I was on vacation in Yosemite with my SpecialLadyFriend, Klamelda. (more…)

Shell Shirts

Bz panel 07-05-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Reptilian Garments.

bz strip 07-05-13Here is day 5 of J.C. Duffy‘s six-day heroic stint as my guest cartoonist. Tomorrow is the last day, so get your bets in before the windows close!

Have you ever been really close to a large sea turtle in the open sea? I have, while snorkeling, on many occasions and I have always found it to be exhilarating. Sea turtles are among my favorite animals, for some reason. If I believed in reincarnation, I’d likely believe I was a turtle in a previous life, somewhere between my life as a salamander and as Burt Reynolds. Burt isn’t technically dead yet, but since I’m talking about make-believe, I can make up my own rules. (more…)

Apologies

Bz panel 07-04-13Bizarro is brought to you today by the Mullerm (mullet/perm combo).

bz strip 07-04-13Here in the United States, we are celebrating the day that our Declaration of Independence from British rule was signed. I sincerely hope that my British readers will not be offended. It wasn’t that we didn’t like you or thought you were, it’s just that this country has always been a magnet for yahoos and wackjobs and you’d just really have to be out of your mind to try to rule us, especially from a few thousand miles away. So it wasn’t you, we’d have done the same thing even if cuddly teddy bears and unicorns that pooped gold were in charge. (more…)

Hissing Bliss

Bz panel 07-03-13bz strip 07-03-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Handsome Homemade Towels.

Here is J.C.Duffy’s (Fusco Brothers, New Yorker) third cartoon of the week. If you missed my previous two posts then you may not know that a few weeks back I took a vacation and J.C. filled in for me. He did the work I was supposed to submit that week, which is just now running in newspapers, so I’m not actually on vacation now; in case you were thinking of robbing my house. (Okay, my nest hanging on the side of a building in downtown L.A.) (more…)

Guess the Guest

Bz panel 07-01-13bz strip 07-01-13Bizarro is brought to you by Guest Host.

Hey, Jazz Pickles. Remember a while back I went to Yosemite for a week with Klamelda? Well, I was able to do that because by good friend and talented colleague, J.C.Duffy of The Fusco Brothers and TheNew Yorker magazine fame, did a week of cartoons for me. It’s the syndicated cartoon world’s version of a vacation, since we are under contract to provide 7 cartoons per week, 52 weeks per year, forever until we retire or die. We don’t get holidays or sick time or vacation time or time off to breast feed our newborns; we just have to keep cranking out cartoons every florping day until we jump off of a bridge. It’s a white-hot hell. But with the help of J.C., I managed to steal a week of downtime. I could just kiss him. (But I promise not to do it here.) (more…)