Mouth Using

(If you wish to embiggenate any of these cartoons, close your eyes, click your heels three times and click them.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Anger Management.

As regular readers know, I enjoy doing fake magazine covers from time to time. It’s a fun way to use wordplay in a slightly more sophisticated way than just illustrating a pun. The basic idea for this one came from a reader who goes by the suspicious name of Kevin Bartlett. (It’s the perfect name for someone trying to “hide in plain sight,” wouldn’t you agree? I’m guessing he’s at least got credit problems if he isn’t actually in a witness protection program.) Anyway, “Kevin” envisioned a guy holding a magazine called “Parts of Speech” and saying he only reads it for the articles.
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Bark Bark

Bizarro 11-15-15 HdrWEB

(To embiggenate any cartoon, click it or something.)Bizarro 11-15-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Making the Best of a Plumbing Leak.

I watched a lot of episodes of “Lassie” when I was a kid and they were all pretty much like this: Lassie and the boy are wandering around killing time, the boy gets in trouble (trapped somewhere), Lassie runs back to the adults and barks at them, they follow him to the boy and save him. It was dull by modern TV standards and I can’t say that I watched it for entertainment as much as for the comfort that comes from predictability. Like the reason people used to be hooked on the comic strip “Nancy” when still drawn by Bushmiller. You knew it would be a shamelessly corny joke every day and you were never wrong. There’s something comforting about that.
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History Lesson

Bizarro 03-09-14 hdrWEBBizarro 03-09-14 WEB1(Click on any image to biggify it.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Protecting Your Chocolate With Nails.

For centuries, people have thought that the pyramids in Egypt were burial thingies because mummies have been found inside. But archeologists have discovered that this was actually a later adaptation of the pyramids, which were originally built as ski slopes. We now know that aliens (from what is now Mexico) visited Egypt in the -23rd century and sold the local Tut on investing in what they promised would be a huge moneymaker for the region. They taught them how to build pyramids but it took them so long to complete them that the aliens lost interest before they were finished and returned home before giving them the formula for artificial snow. The gigantic construction project cost a fortune and became a huge embarrassment to the local politicians who approved it, so the locals killed them and buried them inside the phony mountains. (more…)

Alternative Headstyles

bz panel 01-02-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Former Idols.

Today’s cartoon is particularly surreal, not because one of the characters has a fish’s head (I have more than a couple of friends like this) but because no man is intimidated by fishnet stockings. Still, I find it amusing.

This was a collaborative effort between me and my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. His original idea as well as a few changes we bounced back and forth appear on his blog post about this cartoon, so pop on over there and have a look-see for your own self. (more…)

Oozing Helmet Plague

Bizarro is brought to you today by Strange Jeopardy Answer.

So sorry to all of you who depend on reading my blog regularly to be able to sleep at night. I’ve been busy as a monkey with too many bananas lately and my blogging schedule has taken a hit. Don’t be angry with me, I’m punishing myself plenty enough for both of us. (more…)