Old Anxiety

bz panel 02-19-14

Bizarro is brought to you today by And Poor Spelling?

To my thinking, growing older is the greatest mindfuck in the human experience.

I can’t speak for everyone, of course, but for me, even though I’m in my mid-fifties, I don’t feel any older inside my head than I did when I was 21. My father, who is 78, reports the same experience. I’ve never completely felt like a “grown up,” except during times when I’m putting up with things like divorce, death, financial chaos, trying to make sense of mail I get from the IRS, etc. But when I put on a suit and talk to a loan officer, lawyer, my accountant, a judge, what have you, I always feel like a kid pretending to be an adult and I hope no one notices. Is it possible that the authority figure I’m talking to is doing the same thing? Is that judge wearing an Incredible Hulk T-shirt under his robe? (more…)

Feline Herp Loser Wrinkles

Bizarro is brought to you today by Runaway Wiener.

I got a question or two about about this cat/dog cartoon. One person wondered if the gag was that the woman is seeing a cat doctor. People who live with cats, however, will likely immediately understand that this is a depiction of a cat who is so pompous that he only sees his caregiver by appointment. Hahahahahahahahaha. (I’ve lived with many cats.) (more…)

Rhino Funeral Shirt Drugs

(Are you one of the dozens of readers who would like to see this cartoon bigger? If so, click the kooky painting on the wall.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Day I Drew “Luann.”

It is always amusing to imagine one’s own funeral. I don’t delude myself into thinking that all of my Facebook friends would be there, of course. But however many people show up, I’d like to think they’ll have a good time. (more…)

Stingy Air Fingers

Bizarro is brought to you today by Free Eeyore!

Good day to you, Bizarro Jazz Pickles. It is another beautiful day here in SoCal –– sunny and 70º –– which was a big reason for my moving here, so I’m happy about that. The amount I’m saving on crazy pills (anti-depressants) alone is paying for half of my rent. (more…)