Houseguests

(Find yourself wanting more embiggenation out of any of these cartoons? This desire can be satisfied by the mere clickage of the images.)

Happy holidays and other things, Jazz Pickles! I hope you’re having (or have had) a lovely holiday month and that the good times will continue to roll into the new year. As a special holiday treat, I’ve put some of my favorite Bizarro holiday cartoons of the past behind the blue links in this post, so be sure to click those and claim your BONUS CHUCKLES––you’ve earned them! (Don’t ask me how you’ve earned them. I’m only pretending to know you.) Let’s start with this mash-up of competing mythologies.

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Descent of Man

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(Any cartoon may be embiggenated by clicking any shadow in that image.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Patterns.

Wow, what a week, Jazz Pickles. First, let’s discuss today’s Sunday cartoon, shown above. As a residence of the Los Angeles area for the past five years, traffic is always on my mind. This is a place with too many cars, which is why my beloved Olive Oyl (O2) and I ride motorcycles whenever we can. California is the only state where it is legal to ride between lanes and in LA traffic, it is often the only way to get home from the grocery store before tomorrow.
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Too Many Babies

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(To embiggenate any cartoon, hold down your breakfast and click any yellowish color thrice.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by My Favorite Click Bait of the Week.

If you’re a person who is uncomfortable being honest about sex with your children, this cartoon is an excellent way to teach them about reproduction. It’s a bit more accurate than the old “stork” story, and in a court of law you could argue that it is technically true; babies come from inside the mother. Of course, if you do use this as a teaching tool for your children, prepare to be raising your grandchildren in a few years because their parents are still in middle school.
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The Shirt That Won’t Die

So I’ve sold this cartoon on a T-shirt here in the US before and it was super popular, but I had complaints from foreign readers about the high cost of shipping to Europe. Here’s the solution: a UK-based campaign that ships affordably to everyone in the world, even the US! Bizarro12-30-07DevolutionWEBI also got complaints that the shirts weren’t organic cotton so we changed that, too! All organic cotton, ships to anywhere, and a percentage of every sale goes to Jane Goodall Institute’s global youth-led community action program, Roots and Shoots! 
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Parabolic Cartoonery

Before I get to this week’s cartoons, I’d like to tell you about this T-shirt campaign featuring one of my most popular cartoons. A portion of the proceeds benefit “Roots & Shoots,” a kid’s program at the Jane Goodall Institute. Only ONE WEEK LEFT in the campaign, then the shirt is gone for good! Thanks! Have a look now, then come back. And don’t hesitate to “like,” tweet, forward, etc. it so that other’s may find out about it, too!Bizarro12-30-07DevolutionWEBBizarro is brought to you today by Church Humor?Bizarro 08-02-15 hdrWEB Bizarro 08-02-15 WEBThis Sunday cartoon is a long and winding road and you’ll likely need to enlarge it to get the most out of it. Do that by clicking it. On my computer, I have to click it, then reload the page it goes to before it appears. No idea why; computer voodoo, I guess.
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T-shirt to Benefit Jane Goodall Institute

The Bizarro cartoon below has gone viral many times on various social media sites so we decided since so many people respond to its message, we’d make a T-shirt out of it. It’s for sale for two weeks only, so order one before you forget and the campaign ends!

20% of the sales goes to Jane Goodall Institute‘s global youth-led community action program, Roots and Shoots. Makes a great gift for yourself or others, plus it supports teaching kids to do a better job of stewardship than we have. It’s a win/win!
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So Much Funny

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(Make any cartoon bigger by clicking it. Whatsamatter? Scared?)

Bizarro is brought to you today by This Kind of Music.

Those of you who read my ramblings regularly know that I’m no fan of the human race. We were terrific up until the invention and widespread use of agriculture, and then everything went to hell in a relatively short amount of time; war, disease, pollution. Yes, agriculture caused all of that.  Not much can be done about it now in the same way that you cannot put toothpaste back into a tube once you’ve given it a good hard squeeze, but it is lamentable. As things are now, the last thing the world needs is more humans, so this cartoon is about that.
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Wasting Time

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Advanced Self Defense.

I’ve done quite a few cartoons about the famous “Ascent of Man” illustrations. This one is specifically about the tech age and how so many people have utterly abandoned their bodies and “real” lives for online substitutes. It would take who-knows-how-many years to get to this point in evolution, of course, and we’ll likely kill ourselves off as a species long before then.
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Escape Photo Evidence Beer

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Where Jazz Pickles Go To Mate.

 

One enduring question of evolution is why sea creatures began slithering onto land. In the first cartoon of this post, I present my theory.

 

 

 

 

 

My second cartoon today is another of my Bigfoot renditions, of which I’ve done many. A few people have asked me what this one means, exactly. If you are one of those who are wondering, I would ask if you’ve ever tried to get a good picture of Bigfoot. (more…)

Evolving Diet Hand-Me-Down

Bizarro is brought to you today by Christmas Confusion.

I keep promising myself (and you, dear Jazz Pickles) that I will post more often on this blogging machine but then I don’t get around to it. Part of the problem is that I keep looking for ways to get out of the house because I’m living alone for the first time in ten years and I get pretty blue and lonely if I don’t get out. Today I rode my bicycle 5.6 miles (according to the Google Map) to a branch of my bank to deposit a few dozen dollars worth of checks. It was mostly an excuse to get out in the sun and exercise, so an 11.2 mile ride was just the thing. (more…)