Falling Depth Arm Philosophy

bz panel 04-07-14bz strip 04-07-14bz panel 04-08-14bz panel 04-09-14Bizarro is brought to you today by But I’m Vegan.

 

Happy early April, Jazz Pickles. I’ve been as busy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs lately as I plan to escape Bizarro International Headquarters next week for a bit of time off. Yes, even super-human cartoonists need time off from comedy from time to time, so I’ll be going where nothing is ever funny: Oklahoma. (more…)

I’ve Been Unliked

Bizarro is brought to you today by Big Brother.

I’ve been in Facebook exile for the past 24 hours because I responded sarcastically to a childish insult left on my page. bz panel 12-12-13

This has nothing to do with the fact that today’s cartoon happens to be about Facebook; that’s just a coincidence. Evidently, one of the words I used in my reply to a comment left on my site is banned by the FB gestapo and I was given a “time out.” My response was removed, even though the reason I used the word was because I was sarcastically repeating a childish reference that the original commentator used. His openly belligerent comment, with the so-called offending word, was not deleted. The message I saw yesterday said I was banned for 12 hours. This morning, 24 hours later, I can view my page but I cannot “like,” comment, or post on it. They don’t say how long this particular punishment will last. (UPDATE: I’m back to full functionality on FB as of today, more than 48 hours later.) (more…)

Booty Cast Thug Idea Exam Blur

Bizarro is brought to you today by Grizzly Bear Coin Purse.

You’ve stumbled upon this week’s roundup of Bizarro cartoons. First up is this silly little ditty by my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I love this gag and it makes me realize how much has changed in recent years. Not long ago, women worried about have a large butt. Now, with superstar-mondo-caboose celebs like J-Lo and Kim Kardashian, many women wish their butts were bigger. It’s always nice to have a role model, no matter what your body type, I suppose. Here’s what Wayno has to say about this collaboration. (more…)

Boxer Shorts Latin Gay Bug Beaver

Bizarro is brought to you today by Happy Ass.

 

This week I’ve got a few gags with which I am pleased with the art. I like the gesture of the body of this boxer, as he sits swollen and defeated. Most cartoonists don’t bother with these kinds of details but I really enjoy them and hope you do, too. (more…)

Pachyderm Boobs Imaginary Beggar

(If you detect a yearning in your heart to see this cartoon bigger, click the elephant’s anus)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Parking Lots Without Stripes.

Many readers of this blog are not native English speakers and/or reside in other countries so they might not get this gag. It is based on an idiom that people use when there is a large issue that is purposely being ignored or avoided. For instance, let’s say Bob and Betty are a married couple whom you and your friends have known for years. You hear that Bob and Betty are divorcing, but you have already invited both of them to a party. They arrive individually, but Bob shows up in drag. This makes everyone uncomfortable, so all of the attendees ignore it and pretend it isn’t happening. That’s called “ignoring the elephant in the room.” Later in the party, Betty pulls a pistol out of her purse and shoots Bob. That’s called “assault with a deadly weapon,” but this cartoon has nothing to do with that. (more…)

Feline Herp Loser Wrinkles

Bizarro is brought to you today by Runaway Wiener.

I got a question or two about about this cat/dog cartoon. One person wondered if the gag was that the woman is seeing a cat doctor. People who live with cats, however, will likely immediately understand that this is a depiction of a cat who is so pompous that he only sees his caregiver by appointment. Hahahahahahahahaha. (I’ve lived with many cats.) (more…)

Rhino Funeral Shirt Drugs

(Are you one of the dozens of readers who would like to see this cartoon bigger? If so, click the kooky painting on the wall.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Day I Drew “Luann.”

It is always amusing to imagine one’s own funeral. I don’t delude myself into thinking that all of my Facebook friends would be there, of course. But however many people show up, I’d like to think they’ll have a good time. (more…)

Big Nose Doggy Love

Bizarro is brought to you today by Frightened Humans.

The first few days of 2012 have got me thinking about new year’s resolutions. I’m not one to make resolutions and have not done so in decades. I figure if there is something about my life that needs changing, I just do it at a time that seems right instead of waiting until it’s time to open the new calendar. But clearly, this year calls for a different attitude. This year calls for some resolute action on my part. So I have but one resolution: to defeat the ancient Mayans and make it to 2013. Take THAT, spooky dead Indians. (more…)