Page 1 of 212

Baby Dog Hitman Tornado

bz panel 08-25-14bz strip 08-25-14bz panel 08-26-14bz strip 08-26-14bz panel 08-27-14bz strip 08-27-14

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Man, The Cake.

Everyone has seen plenty of parents who have no business raising kids, but nobody thinks they are one of them. It’s been said many times that you have to pass a test to drive a car, but anyone can have a kid, ruin them, and set them loose on society to wreak havoc. (No, it isn’t “wreck” havoc, in case you are wondering.) Beyond this obvious issue, it is also safe to say that humans are the only species actively destroying the planet, and everyone and everything would benefit greatly if we stopped reproducing. Yeah. Like that’s going to happen. (more…)

Undies Fish TV Laptop

bz panel 06-05-14bz strip 06-05-14bz panel 06-06-14bz strip 06-06-14bz panel 06-07-14bz strip 06-07-14

 

 

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Latest Disguise Technology.

 

Ever wondered if Tarzan wore underwear? Neither had I until I did, and it resulted in this cartoon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This barroom cartoon is a collaboration with my good friend and known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I’ve been told by a few readers that I got the symbol count wrong on this vertical version, it should be 7 instead of 6. The strip is wrong, too. I only count 4. Sometimes my counting ain’t so good, and neither is my editor’s. Wayno blathers eloquently about this cartoon and his original sketch here. (more…)

Big Serpent Crash

bz panel 05-19-14bz strip 05-19-14bz panel 05-20-14bz strip 05-20-14Bizarro is brought to you today by The Last Delicious Thing You’ll Ever Eat.

 

I’m not a fan of people who abuse those in the service industry. As soon as I see someone being rude to a waitperson or counter clerk (unless that person was a jackass first) I write them off as insecure and of low moral standards. If you are that person, I hope the Head Waiter is right behind you. (more…)

Below Deck

Bizarro 04-27-14 hdrWEBBizarro 04-27-14 WEB(Click on anyone’s nose to get a larger image.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Japanese TV of the 1960s.

I like today’s gag because it’s one of those that doesn’t quite click (for most readers) until they read the dialogue balloon, then search around the image for what it means. I used to have one of those mirror periscope toys when I was a kid. I don’t know why it was fun to see around corners but it was. There was invariably nothing of great interest to see that I couldn’t have witnessed by walking around the corner, but imagination is a powerful thing. (more…)

Tuesday Twofer

bz panel 01-13-14bz strip 01-13-14bz panel 01-14-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Expository Book Titles.

It has come that time in history when I am going to be forced to buy health insurance. Since I work for myself, I’ve no company policy of any kind that I can glom onto, and the only organization I belong to, the National Cartoonists Society, has no policy or discount rates, either. I’ve been without coverage for the past 12 years and have saved tens of thousands of dollars. But those days are gone. I have no idea where to get decent affordable catastrophic insurance and man, do I hate having to give money to the health insurance industry, something I consider to be more malignant than the Mafia. I guess that’s why the first joke posted here resonated with me. (more…)

Future Flight

bz strip 12-30-13bz panel 12-30-13 bz panel 12-31-13bz panel 01-01-14

Bizarro is brought to you today The Future!

Welcome to 2014, Jazz Pickles, and welcome to the future. Yes, it is here. No matter where you live on this tiny blue planet, in front of your place of residence right now is a flying car, which I have had placed there for each and every one of my Jazz Pickles at great expense to myself. That’s just how much I care. (more…)

Party People

bz panel 05-24-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Daily News.

Sorry for the absence, Jazz Pickles. I’ve been out of town for four days at our annual National Cartoonists Society’s convention. This year it was in Pittsburgh and we had a blast.  Here are the two cartoons I missed posting last week after I’d gone, plus a few highlights and pictures from the Reubens (as we call our yearly get-together.) (more…)

Xmas comiX

‘Twas the night before Christmas and I was too lazy to type out “it was.”

For your holiday amusement, I present today’s cartoon PLUS a few of my favorite Bizarro cartoons from past years. Feel free to copy, save, forward, post, etc. Have a happy and prosperous whatever you’re having, Jazz Pickles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hit Gravity Poison Purr Lust Poop

Bizarro is brought to you today  by My Magazine Cover Shot.

Again, I’ve only managed to post once this week. Things are getting away from me here at Bizarro International Headquarters.

Let’s review the week: Our first cartoon is a great pickup line for the next time you see someone attractive on an elevator. Please use it with my blessing and let me know how it turns out. (more…)

Doggy Lamp Highway Creep

Bizarro is brought to you today  by Unintelligent Bells.

I’m off in a few hours to the National Cartoonists Society’s annual convention. They hold this thing in a different city each year and mostly just hang around each other at a hotel or resort for three days. They also have seminars you can go to –– one professional cartoonist or another will talk for an hour about his or her career –– then there’s a black tie awards dinner on Saturday night during which they give out The Reuben Award for “outstanding cartoonist of the year,” and dozens of category awards. (more…)

Page 1 of 212