Hey, Good Looking

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(If you want some biggerized comedy to gander, click the color blue on any image.)Bizarro 10-11-15 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Thrifty Knitters. 

Since I moved to LA a few years ago, I have become acutely aware of the fact that I am not nearly rich or good looking enough. Every community has its own vibe; Portland is about being hip and chill, New York City is about wearing black and basing your innate sense of superiority on your geographical location, and LA is about looking super hot in your Lamborghini as you sit in traffic for an hour on your way to a grocery store that is only one mile away. There are other vibes in LA, too, and millions of really good people, but it takes a concerted effort not to allow yourself to feel “less than” in your cheap, compact car and your average face and body. I’m just saying that if someone opened a funhouse mirror place that made everyone look like a movie star, it would be packed.
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Sea of Serious

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(And when the illustration of the escaping Israelites was clicked, the Lord embiggenated it.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sibling Rivalries of the Bible.
Bizarro 10-04-15 WEBEver wonder what those crazy stories in the Old Testament (or Torah) mean? Neither do I, but they are fun to do cartoons about and since it was supposed to have happened so long ago, very few people will say, “Too soon.” One might also wonder if this cartoon was created to mirror the current refugee crisis in the Middle East and Europe and the answer would be no, not directly. Pretty much any time one does a cartoon about escaping refugees, there’s going to be a group of refugees somewhere in the real world. Sadly, humans have a fairly consistent habit of treating each other horribly and keeping each other on the run.
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Hostile Chickens

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Common European Photo Ops.

Those of you who have traveled as young adults are likely familiar with hostels. I stayed in a few when I was doing my backpacking-through-Europe trip when I was 20 years old. Lest you mistake me for a privileged white kid, I hasten to add that I paid for every cent of that trip, which lasted nearly four months when I ran out of money and flew back to the U.S. on the stand-by ticket I had in my shoe. The trip was a life-changing experience and one I’ve recommended to every person of that age group I’ve spoken to since. I was never beaten up in a hostel, as this cartoon depicts, but the similarity between the words “hostel” and “hostile” always gave me pause. My trip was full of youthful adventure, however, and I was a victim of robbery by a public official in Palermo and nearly got arrested in Paris––but those are stories for another time. (more…)

Godiva Fries

Bizarro 08-24-14 hedr WEBBizarro 08-24-14 WEB(To see any of these images largerized, click any character’s index finger.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Modern Lady Godiva.

This is a fairly simple and maybe corny pun, but I love the contrast between the big hullabaloo I made with such a complex and formal illustration, and the final gag. Does that make sense? I actually used much of this art a couple of times before but what the hell, it took me a long time to draw, I might as well get my money’s worth, right? (more…)

Cannibal Ghost Superman Dinner

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Gourmet Dining.

If you haven’t visited a KwikKannibal recently, you should. They have a new sausage sandwich that is filled with ground lips, ears, and nostrils––not the usual penis-on-a-bun that these kinds of places typically have. I recommend it.

My good buddy Cliff The King Of Wordplay came up with this delightful pun and I am pleased to present it to you today. I hope it made you giggle. Buy a print of this cartoon here. (more…)

Archer Troglodytes Chasing Download Destruction

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Appetizing Image.

My first offering this week is a collaboration with my good friend and colleague, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I like this gag a lot. For the sake of accuracy, I have William reading the fourth line, in case you’re wondering which colors coincide with the names of the apples he is identifying. (more…)