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Sinking

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(Wanna see it more embiggenated? Click the cartoon with the pointy hand deal.)Bizarro 11-01-15 clr WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Unusual Things To Do With Children.

When I lived in NYC I used to occasionally enjoy watching people playing with miniature boats in the big pond in Central Park. May I assume you will not be surprised to discover that it was the inspiration for this cartoon? I’m glad that a hurricane hasn’t hit somewhere this week and killed tons of people, otherwise folks would be all up in my grill about making fun of tragedy too soon, not realizing I submitted this cartoon for publication weeks ago. Here are a few fun things in the background of this pic that you might not be able to see even in the embiggenated view: The white sign just right of center says, “Zoo, Pool, Thugs, Vermin”: The food cart in the far background on the left is selling “Fried Vermin”: On the park bench in the center is a woman with a bird head: The pigeon in the right foreground corner is standing on my signature. Other than that, there are also 10 “secret symbols,” as the small number above my signature implies. If you’re not aware of the secret symbols, check out this link here, but keep it to yourself or they won’t be secret anymore.
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7 Days of Silly

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(Make your comedy world bigger by clicking these comics.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Romance.

I hope you had a dandy Valentine’s Day this weekend. Olive Oyl (seen here with her grandmother) and I went to Topanga Canyon to visit some friends and take a lovely hike. Afterwards, the four of us went to a small, out-of-the-way Thai restaurant and had dinner with The Edge (guitarist for U2). And by “had dinner with,” I mean that he was at the next table with his wife and daughter and did not acknowledge our existence. But still, it was as close to having dinner with The Edge as we’ll likely ever get, so it was fun.
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Travel Secrets Therapy

Bizarro 11-02-14 hdrWEB Bizarro 11-02-14 WEB(For enbiggened views of any of these images, click on any human hand.)

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by My Daughter, Krelspeth as Hall and Oates.

If you’re planning a trip to Europe, be sure to catch some of the sites mentioned below. Anyone sending me a photo of themselves in front of one of these Old World treasures will win a signed photo of me being carried piggyback by the Pope. (Offer good while supplies last.) (more…)

Halloween Cartoons

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I had a busy week and didn’t get around to posting anything on Wednesday as I usually do, so here is the entire week of Bizarro cartoons in review. I’ll post my Sunday Bizarro tomorrow. (more…)

Kissmoss

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(For the looking at it bigger, click the any wheel on the orange tricycle.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Don’t Just Complain, Do Something!

I’m not a big fan of Xmas, what with the hideously ugly decorations and lights, and the unbearably obnoxious songs and commercials. A couple of decades ago I gave up giving or expecting cards or gifts at this time of year, seeing the holiday primarily as a department-store construct that has succeeded in putting social pressure on most people to buy stuff they can’t afford for people who don’t need it. And since I’m neither a fan nor a devotee of any religion, it has no meaning for me in that context, either. But, since there’s no getting rid of it now, to at least make it a little more interesting, I’m going to suggest we combine Xmas with Halloween. If you see me on the street this December, please wish me a “scary Xmas.” (more…)

Flathead Funnies

bz panel 10-28-13bz strip 10-28-13bz panel 10-29-13bz strip 10-29-13Bizarro is brought to yourself today by Albert Frank Einstein.

Since I’m behind on the blog this week, this is another omnibus posting. Sorry about that, JPs.

It’s Halloween week here in Southern California so I’m using gags about scary monsters that I’ve been saving all year. My buddy, Dan McConnell thinks up a lot of monster gags so he may be disproportionately represented this week. Oh! Here’s one now; Frankenstein shoe shopping. McC may have gotten this idea from a gay Halloween parade, which are the best kinds of Halloween parades there are, in my heterosexual opinion. (more…)

Gray Matters

(To make it big like a rhino’s butt, click any brain in a jar.)

Bizarro is brought to you by Halloween HORROR!

Once you’ve recovered from the image below that first link, dear reader, I encourage you to click on the above image and view it large because I put a lot of effort into this art.  And I added a few small jokes on the wall posters that I don’t want you to miss, but with screen resolution be so low on computer, I fear you’ll not be able to read them. On the poster behind Frank it says, “Diversity — Because you’re made of different people.” On the anatomy poster behind the mad doctor, the hands are labeled as “Paws,” the thigh label says “Lap,” the legs tag says “Getaway Sticks,” the feet say “Dogs.”  I thought this was a fun, non-traditional Halloween cartoon that you might enjoy. If you did not enjoy it, please don’t tell me; I live for your approval. (more…)

Less Than a Dozen Cartoons

Bizarro is brought to you today by Eye Jinx.

Are you a person who enjoys things? I am too. Here’s something I hope you’ll enjoy: between five and seven cartoons.

The first one is about how Newton discovered gravity when an apple conked him on the noggin. The truth is, the whole story is a myth. Newton was not hit by an apple, but a grand piano falling from the fourth floor of those old, crumbly European buildings they have everywhere over there. The blow to his head caused him to go crazy and make up a bunch of sciency stuff about gravity and some other things. It was hilarious. (more…)

Basketball Forecast Model Complaint

(To see this cartoon way big, click any monster.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sexy Monster.

My first cartoon today is a scene from a movie I hope to make one day. In this scenario, monsters are as real as anyone else and do boring things like play basketball at the local playground court. The characters will be fully developed and multidimensional, the dialogue will be rife with clever banter and heart-rending emotion. No one gets eaten, nobody changes into anything, and there is no blood or violence of any kind. It will fail miserably at the box office and I’ll never be allowed to make another film. (Sigh.) (more…)

Christmas Cavalcade O’Comics

Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Weekend!

I won’t spend a lot of time blogging today because I’ve got holiday events to attend. Since I don’t celebrate Xmas and I’m tired of Festivus, I’ve decided this year to give tribute to Kwanzaa. Some people are all, “that’s just a made-up holiday!” Well, guess what, genius, ALL holidays are made up, by definition. Nature doesn’t have holidays, you big goober. You probably feel silly now, don’t you? Well, you should but it’s the holiday season so let’s just move past that in the spirit of forgiveness. (more…)

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