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Cave Trees

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(If it is embiggenation that you seek, click any man-made object in any cartoon.)Bizarro 11-29-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by A Favorite Holiday Bizarro Cartoon.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’m not a person who enjoys what we Americans call “the holiday season”. I like Halloween but as soon as it is over the streets, shops, and homes of our communities are filled with songs and decorations that remind one at a glance of why suicide statistics shoot up at this time of year. I’ve known and lived with people who, like the woman in my cartoon above, cannot wait until the next opportunity to decorate their home like the set of an episode of Martha Stewart, and would likely have found a way to do so even tens of thousands of years before the holiday was even invented. I don’t mean to criticize those people; I don’t hate you, I just hate some of the things you love. There’s a big difference.
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Funeral Rash Hitman

Bizarro is brought to you today by No, Don’t.

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I particularly like this first cartoon about a unique funeral. It’s got all the things I like in a cartoon: absurdity, irreverence, a clergyman, towels, a funny picture, and, though it seems this specialized ceremony went pretty smoothly up to this point, what happens next is up to the reader to imagine.
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Holiday Hangover

bz panel 07-28-14bz strip 07-28-14bz panel 07-29-14bz strip 07-29-14bz panel 07-30-14bz strip 07-30-14bz panel 07-31-14bz strip 07-31-14bz panel 08-01-14bz strip 08-01-14bz panel 08-02-14bz strip 08-02-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Attack of the 50 Foot Boy.

The adorable Olive Oyl and I were on vacation last week and though we have been back since Monday, I’ve had no time to post here because this past week has been a hectic whirlwind of chaos, mayhem, and shenanigans of all kinds as I try to get caught up. As anyone who’s ever had a vacation knows, getting back into the rhythm of “real life” after you’ve spent seven days drinking margaritas from noon till midnight is like trying to put a giraffe in a car without a sunroof. Yes, that is a clumsy analogy but I’ve been drinking tequila all day, every day for a week and my brain is soft. For anyone who cares, we had an amazing time and here’s proof. (more…)

Moody Warning Congrats Burial

bz panel 03-27-14bz panel 03-28-14bz strip 03-28-14bz panel 03-29-14bz strip 03-29-14(To enlargenate any comic, click on any character’s nose.)

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Learn to Count!

I got an angry comment from a reader about this Hulk cartoon, accusing me of “perpetuating stigma about mental illness.” I apologized for upsetting her but pointed out that the absurdity of this cartoon is enough to prevent people from taking it seriously enough to form opinions about sufferers of bipolar disorder. I’ve several friends and family members with this disorder and I’ve suffered from severe depression my entire adult life (controlled now by meds) so I fully understand both the seriousness and the stigma. If anyone else was offended, please don’t turn green and bust out of your clothes over it. (more…)

Hot Tub Surgery Funeral

bz panel 03-03-14 bz panel 03-04-14bz strip 03-04-14Want to be notified by email each time I post something new? Drop your email address into the slot below the Tip Jar in the right margin! I won’t abuse it!

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by My New Part-Time Job.

As I’ve mentioned here before, I can’t stand the idea of working for a company and having to go to meetings. Most people find a way to get through it, some probably actually enjoy it, but we artistic types live primarily inside our own heads so it is difficult for us to pay attention to people talking for long periods of time. No amount of note-taking would work for me. I’d forever be wondering what was said and then I’d get fired. A hot tub would help, though. (more…)

Existential Warranty

bz panel 10-16-13bz strip 10-16-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Porky Pig.

I’ve always done funeral- and death-related gags, but I’ve noticed I’ve been doing more than usual lately. Maybe it is because I’ve entered into that latter portion of my life where I can imagine the end of my life with more clarity than that vague, “someday” feeling one has when they are younger. Time goes exponentially faster the older you get, so even if I live another 35 years (which would be a very long life so I’m not counting on it) it will seem like the blink of an eye. (more…)

Tryptich

bz panel 09-04-13pantsbz strip 09-04-13pantsbz panel 09-05-13shoesbz strip 09-05-13shoesbz panel 09-06-13clarkbz strip 09-06-13clarkBizarro is brought to you today by The Women of Idaho.

I’m way behind on the blog this week, Jazz Pickles, because I’ve been hammering on cartoons all week so I could get out of town this weekend. I’m going to Sacramentos to do a little comedy show at a restaurant (see previous post) and I hope some of you will be there! (more…)

Past Performance

bz panel 08-21-13bz strip 08-21-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Delicious Death.

“Death of a Salesman” is a pretty darned good play by a guy named Arthur Miller, who married Marylin Monroe in spite of being a goofy-looking nerd. (Miller, not Monroe.) I like this kind of story because I am a goofy-looking nerd and I like beautiful women. By many reports, however, he was pretty mean to Marylin and drove her a good deal deeper into depression, a problem she already had when she came to the relationship. If that is true, that wasn’t nice. I’ve been accused of doing this to a couple of women, too (though none of them committed suicide) but I hope it isn’t true. I’ve never intentionally been mean to anyone whom I didn’t think richly deserved it as a result of their own behavior toward me. Normally, I try to be a considerate, nice guy, but when I’m pushed past my limit, I admit that I can be an unmitigated asshat and a formidable foe. Sort of a primordial defense mechanism that kicks in. (more…)

Forever Silent

bz panel 08-08-13bz strip 08-08-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Tragic Mistake.

Here’s a gag that is a collaboration with my pal and cartoon colleague, Dan McConnell. I like the simple concept behind this gag, that the mime spends eternity much the way he spent life––trapped inside an invisible box.

In my CLASSIC CORNER today, I feature a cartoon I did back in 2012 with a similar concept, but without the hands in the invisible box position. I like this newer version and think it is different enough to use it even though it touches on ground I’ve been to before. Check out Dan’s FB page for more of his work. (more…)

Send in the Clowns

bz panel 06-14-13Bizarro is brought to you by Black Comedy.

In my 185-year career, I have sometimes been criticized for doing funeral gags. Comments like these are usually from readers who had recently lost someone close. I sympathize with them but always remind them that being able to laugh at tragedy is a singularly human trait and one that we use very effectively to temporarily relieve pain and fear. It’s not just a relief to laugh in dark times, it is essential to our sanity. (more…)

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