Fourteen Smiles

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Odd Body Parts

Because I was out of town last week and did not post my week’s cartoons, this post includes TWO WEEKS OF CARTOONS!

Let us begin with last Sunday’s double-wide comedy cavalcade about a lab scientist doing some kind of experimenty thing that ends up switching his own head with that of a house cat’s. If you’ve ever had this happen, you know how funny (and embarrassing!) this can be. What’s more, the cartoon has 8 secret symbols, so click it, embiggen it, and commence counting.
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Dogs Who Drive

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Perhaps The Best Option.

Here’s a fun take on distracted driving, which has always been a major public safety issue and is getting worse all the time. It is estimated that over 600% of all accidents caused by teenaged drivers are the result of cell phone use. No, that math does not make sense, but teenagers aren’t any good at math, either, which is another big problem with this country. How are they going to repair the desolate wasteland we are leaving them if they are too busy texting to do the math? See what I’m saying?
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Sins of Comedy

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Here is another of my cartoons that points out the biological need for superstition in the human primate. I realize this is an unpopular view in America, but I intentionally don’t shy away from gags that may lose readers––just one of the many reasons I am not rich. Any one person’s personal beliefs, whether they are in traditional ideas of “god” or in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, are not my concern but when viewed from a rational position, they are rather hilarious. They also have a powerful effect on society as so many people worldwide make important decisions based on what they believe their own version of the “invisible magic person in the sky” wants them to do. When they believe their super hero is telling them to help the sick and poor it’s one thing, when they believe it wants them to fly planes into a building full of people (this is 9/11, after all), it’s quite another. And that skips all of the middle-range offenses that people use religion for: bigotry against various races, creeds, sexual orientations, etc.  Admirably, comedian Ricky Gervais has made a very public practice of poking fun at religion, but he waited until he was as rich as God to do it. (more…)

Cognitive Dissonance

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I got a complaint about this cartoon this morning that read as follows:

“Today’s newspaper contained an offensive cartoon suggesting that God was hung over when he created man. I am offended. Why haven’t I seen a similar cartoon about Muhammed or the Muslims? (more…)

Mao Dummy Alien Cat Pee God Santa Nixon Crook

 

(To see this cartoon as big as China, click on Mao’s third button.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hover Cats.

I’ve been away for a while visiting my hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma. I was asked to deliver the commencement address at their midterm graduation and had a ball doing it. As many times as I have spoken and performed in public, I was pretty nervous. Big crowd, lots of big brains, funny outfits, a giant basketball scoreboard with a live video feed of me talking hanging over the center of the room right in front of me. To top it all off, I couldn’t see my notes so I had to mostly wing it. I guess it went okay. (more…)

I Was Raptured

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I meant to blog yesterday, but I couldn’t find the Internet connections here in Heaven until this morning. Yes, I was raptured on Saturday night, as predicted by Christian loose-cannon, Harold Camping. I know I posted Sunday saying I wasn’t but truth be told, I prepared that blog post on Saturday morning and scheduled it to be posted at midnight because I was going out of town for the weekend. I had no idea how far out of town I would end up. (more…)