Descent of Man

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(Any cartoon may be embiggenated by clicking any shadow in that image.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Patterns.

Wow, what a week, Jazz Pickles. First, let’s discuss today’s Sunday cartoon, shown above. As a residence of the Los Angeles area for the past five years, traffic is always on my mind. This is a place with too many cars, which is why my beloved Olive Oyl (O2) and I ride motorcycles whenever we can. California is the only state where it is legal to ride between lanes and in LA traffic, it is often the only way to get home from the grocery store before tomorrow.
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Sinking

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(Wanna see it more embiggenated? Click the cartoon with the pointy hand deal.)Bizarro 11-01-15 clr WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Unusual Things To Do With Children.

When I lived in NYC I used to occasionally enjoy watching people playing with miniature boats in the big pond in Central Park. May I assume you will not be surprised to discover that it was the inspiration for this cartoon? I’m glad that a hurricane hasn’t hit somewhere this week and killed tons of people, otherwise folks would be all up in my grill about making fun of tragedy too soon, not realizing I submitted this cartoon for publication weeks ago. Here are a few fun things in the background of this pic that you might not be able to see even in the embiggenated view: The white sign just right of center says, “Zoo, Pool, Thugs, Vermin”: The food cart in the far background on the left is selling “Fried Vermin”: On the park bench in the center is a woman with a bird head: The pigeon in the right foreground corner is standing on my signature. Other than that, there are also 10 “secret symbols,” as the small number above my signature implies. If you’re not aware of the secret symbols, check out this link here, but keep it to yourself or they won’t be secret anymore.
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Fleeing Fleas

Bizarro is brought to you today by My New Offices!Bizarro 07-19-15 hdrWEBBizarro 07-19-15 WEBI hope you enjoy this version of the popular horror story meme wherein a traveling couple’s car breaks down and they have to ask a scary person if they can spend the night in that person’s farmhouse, castle, etc. The setup is a bit outdated now that cell phones have been invented but I suppose you could always claim there’s no reception in that area because of inherent evil or something. (Note: I put a little extra work on the reflection in the hardwood floors so please take a moment to enjoy that.)bz panel 07-13-15I’m sure one or more cats are actually running for president next year but I suspect that, as usual, The Man won’t let them on the ballot. This is entirely because cats cannot be bought by corporations.bz panel 07-14-15I have out-of-body experiences every single day, but it’s always involving other people’s bodies. Something to think about. bz panel 07-15-15I’ve always thought the coolest thing about porcupines is that when threatened, they can throw their quills outward from their body. Much like our “goosebumps” or “gooseflesh,” but with consequences.bz panel 07-16-15Yes, I know I have a bug up my ass about unnecessarily large vehicles and I’ve done a lot of cartoons about that. Here’s another one. The salesman is unnecessarily large, too, but that’s a whole other issue about the American industrialized food system.
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Halloween Cartoons

bz panel 10-27-14bz strip 10-27-14bz panel 10-28-14bz strip 10-28-14bz panel 10-29-14bz strip 10-29-14bz panel 10-30-14bz strip 10-30-14bz panel 10-31-14bz strip 10-31-14bz panel 11-01-14bz strip 11-01-14Bizarro is brought to you today by My Producer Jon Kroll and me on the Set of Utopia This Week.

I had a busy week and didn’t get around to posting anything on Wednesday as I usually do, so here is the entire week of Bizarro cartoons in review. I’ll post my Sunday Bizarro tomorrow. (more…)

Flathead Funnies

bz panel 10-28-13bz strip 10-28-13bz panel 10-29-13bz strip 10-29-13Bizarro is brought to yourself today by Albert Frank Einstein.

Since I’m behind on the blog this week, this is another omnibus posting. Sorry about that, JPs.

It’s Halloween week here in Southern California so I’m using gags about scary monsters that I’ve been saving all year. My buddy, Dan McConnell thinks up a lot of monster gags so he may be disproportionately represented this week. Oh! Here’s one now; Frankenstein shoe shopping. McC may have gotten this idea from a gay Halloween parade, which are the best kinds of Halloween parades there are, in my heterosexual opinion. (more…)

Impending Gore

bz panel 10-25-13bz strip 10-25-13Bizarro is brought to you today by This Bizarro Cartoon.

It’s almost Halloween here in the United States so here are a couple of cartoons to help get you in the mood. For my foreign readers, Halloween is a holiday during which Americans celebrate evil, violence, and superstition by wearing clothing and accessories that are intended to disgust, frighten, or amuse others. And, like all holidays, we add alcoholic beverages to heighten the experience. Often, we will dress our children in similarly grotesque or fanciful outfits and send them out after dark to beg for food at the homes of strangers. (more…)

Shag Dark Ghost Corpse

Bizarro is brought to you today by Pilgrims and Indians.

Well, if all goes as planned, today is Thanksgiving Day in the U.S.  The holiday supported by a coloring book story about pilgrims and native Americans getting together peacefully (for the last time?) to have dinner and give thanks or something. We celebrate this by, and as an ethical vegan I cannot resist saying this, slaughtering millions of innocent beings who’ve lived their short lives in uncomfortable captivity so we can gorge ourselves like gluttons. In December, the massacre starts all over again in the name of “peace on Earth.” Whatever. (more…)

Zombie Mummy Vampire Pirate Toado

Bizarro is brought to you today by He Man.

Here are five cartoons leading up to Halloween. If you are from a country which does not celebrate Halloween and you have never heard of it, it is a holiday at the end of October during which we Americans disguise our children as murderers, monsters, and demons and send them door to door asking for handouts. (more…)

Best Hair in the Bar

(To see any of these images larger, just click them silly!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Scary Halloween Costume!

For years I’ve been publishing a “Scariest Halloween Costumes of (year)” cartoons on the Sunday closest to Halloween. This year I felt that motif had run its course and I couldn’t come up with anything that wouldn’t offend half of my readership (i.e., something that disparages Michele Bachmann). But my known associate, Wayno, submitted this idea about the bride of Frankenstein’s monster, so I went for it.  What does Wayno have to say about this? The answer. (more…)