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Food Nightmares

(One may embiggenate any image herein by placing the cursor within that image’s borders and activating the device that triggers the cursor to act.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Why I Became An Artist.

Mr. Potato Head is an almost endless wellspring of cartoon ideas. I’ve done quite a few over the years, including this very racy one from two weeks ago that I still can’t believe didn’t get censored by any of my newspaper clients, and this one, which is one of my favorites from my entirely-too-long cartooning career. I like this one, too, for slapstick reasons and this one because of its absurdity.
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Midnight Crush

Bizarro 05-24-15 hdrWEB Bizarro is brought to you today by Delicious Insect Vomit.

The tremendously gifted artist, Tim Biskip, once said that he is an artist so he can create things he wants to see but that don’t exist. I’ve never put it in those words but that’s the fun of cartooning, too: creating a moment that doesn’t exist in the real world but would be funny if it did. I really like this idea of Bizarro 05-24-15 WEBcombining Cinderella with Godzilla. She attacks the castle, chews on a tower, midnight strikes so she must run but the prince has already fallen in love. All he has left of her is a minivan-sized, three-toed glass slipper. So romantic.bz panel 05-18-15 bz panel 05-19-15 bz panel 05-20-15 bz panel 05-21-15 bz panel 05-22-15 bz panel 05-23-15
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Sex Preachin’

bizarro 04-05-15 hdrWEb1Bizarro 04-05-15 WEB(Hankerin’ for a bigger look? Click the cartoons.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sex.

All of the cartoons from this week are self explanatory (as a cartoon should be) but I have a few things to say about the last one posted here: two ladies at a sidewalk cafe talking about an old boyfriend. I suggest you read all of these cartoons, then come back here for my commentary.
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Holiday Hangover

bz panel 07-28-14bz strip 07-28-14bz panel 07-29-14bz strip 07-29-14bz panel 07-30-14bz strip 07-30-14bz panel 07-31-14bz strip 07-31-14bz panel 08-01-14bz strip 08-01-14bz panel 08-02-14bz strip 08-02-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Attack of the 50 Foot Boy.

The adorable Olive Oyl and I were on vacation last week and though we have been back since Monday, I’ve had no time to post here because this past week has been a hectic whirlwind of chaos, mayhem, and shenanigans of all kinds as I try to get caught up. As anyone who’s ever had a vacation knows, getting back into the rhythm of “real life” after you’ve spent seven days drinking margaritas from noon till midnight is like trying to put a giraffe in a car without a sunroof. Yes, that is a clumsy analogy but I’ve been drinking tequila all day, every day for a week and my brain is soft. For anyone who cares, we had an amazing time and here’s proof. (more…)

Running For Souls

bz panel 11-22-13bz strip 11-22-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Identity Theft.

There are few things with the enduring humor of someone other than the Pope dressed like the Pope. It’s a simple equation, really: only one person is the world has the “right” to dress in this outfit and that person has claimed supremacy over all other living beings on the planet as the infallible, divine representative of GOD on earth. So to dress as the Pope not only works on the level that outdated, historical costumes work, but also in making a comment about the person’s arrogance or irreverence, or both. I know it is cliche and the shock value of it wore of ages ago, but I still get a kick out of it. Plus, miters (those phalic Pope hats) are fun to draw. On a side note, I am disappointed in myself (especially as a recovering Catholic) that I forgot to draw the streamers on the back of the hat. Here’s what they should have looked like, only blowing in the wind. (more…)

Tearful Reunions

bz panel 10-17-13bz strip 10-17-13Today’s Bizarro is brought to you by Unpleasant Surprises of the Afterlife.

We humans like to think of glorious, emotional reunions with deceased loved ones after we die but what of all the other things you lost during life? Here’s my interpretation of what that might be like.

While drawing this cartoon, I remembered a terrific cartoon by one of the single-panel masters of all time, Sam Gross. See it here.  It was my unworthy pleasure to get to know Sam a bit when I lived in NYC. He’s an endlessly fascinating guy with a NY accent fit for an informer on a cop show from the 70s. Such a brilliant mind. (more…)

Yeah?

bz panel 08-17-13bz strip 08-17-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Lunch.

Wars of worlds are so dramatic, what with the laser beams and the annihilation of entire cities and the melting of people and whatnot, that spats of worlds get very little press. I decided to change all of that with this cartoon. And before you ask, yes, my little Bizarro Alien who floats around my cartoons is from the same planet as the alien featured here, but they are of different species. (more…)

Heavenly Desires

bz panel 07-23-13bz strip 07-23-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Afterlife Fantasies.

I don’t believe in an afterlife, but if I did, it would be wonderful to be availed of any kind of sensory pleasure you could dream of without consequences or guilt. Among my personal (and very long) list would be warm, glazed donuts at your fingertips with no concern for gained weight,  sex with your favorite movie stars, beef fajitas without the torture and slaughter of a fellow being, crazy-fun drug trips without risk of arrest or damage to your health, riding a motorcycle at 100 miles an hour without threat of injury or death. (more…)

Cognitive Dissonance

bz panel 06-24-13bz strip 06-24-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Age of Reason.

I got a complaint about this cartoon this morning that read as follows:

“Today’s newspaper contained an offensive cartoon suggesting that God was hung over when he created man. I am offended. Why haven’t I seen a similar cartoon about Muhammed or the Muslims? (more…)

Mao Dummy Alien Cat Pee God Santa Nixon Crook

 

(To see this cartoon as big as China, click on Mao’s third button.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hover Cats.

I’ve been away for a while visiting my hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma. I was asked to deliver the commencement address at their midterm graduation and had a ball doing it. As many times as I have spoken and performed in public, I was pretty nervous. Big crowd, lots of big brains, funny outfits, a giant basketball scoreboard with a live video feed of me talking hanging over the center of the room right in front of me. To top it all off, I couldn’t see my notes so I had to mostly wing it. I guess it went okay. (more…)

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