Houseguests

(Find yourself wanting more embiggenation out of any of these cartoons? This desire can be satisfied by the mere clickage of the images.)

Happy holidays and other things, Jazz Pickles! I hope you’re having (or have had) a lovely holiday month and that the good times will continue to roll into the new year. As a special holiday treat, I’ve put some of my favorite Bizarro holiday cartoons of the past behind the blue links in this post, so be sure to click those and claim your BONUS CHUCKLES––you’ve earned them! (Don’t ask me how you’ve earned them. I’m only pretending to know you.) Let’s start with this mash-up of competing mythologies.

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Eternal Slacking Laundry Jungle

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Young Vet In Training.

My, how time flies. Here it is today already and just 24 hours ago it was yesterday. Will it ever end? So far, it hasn’t, and that is the point of this cartoon. Eternity is a notoriously difficult concept for the human mind to grasp from inside our tiny fishbowl lives, but I find it very helpful to contemplate. (more…)

Holy Hate Mail

bz panel 12-26-13bz strip 12-26-13bz panel 12-27-13bz strip 12-27-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Sanforized Swinging.

I trust you all had a lovely holiday this week, except for those of you who disobeyed my command and had a lousy one. You should’ve listened to me.

As expected, I got a couple of complaints about my religious cartoon on Xmas Day. I post them here for your analysis. (more…)

Belts and Drugs

bz panel 12-19-13bz strip 12-19-13Bizarro is bbz panel 12-20-13rought to you today by Dead Sexy.

The rodeo-clown-pants fad has long been a favorite target of mine. When young men first started wearing baggy pants falling down below their butts, I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever seen (and I was right) and I thought that given the unadulterated stupidity of it, and the inconvenience of shuffling around town with your pants half down as though you were using the toilet when the fire alarm went off, I thought the fad would pass quickly. (I was wrong.) By my unofficial calculations, these pants have been in style now for around 20 years. We now have an entire generation of children who will grow up thinking it is normal to wear comically-huge pants. It may be a sign of the apocalypse. So the idea of an international organization that provides belts to baggy-drawered boys is an appealing idea. Not that they would use them. (My apologies if I have offended any Jazz Pickles who wear comically-huge pants. You may make fun of my mustache if you like.) (more…)