Hen Nose Poop Motel

bizarro 05-04-14 hedrWEB Bizarro 05-04-14 WEB(You want some bigger cartoonage, Mr. Coolpants? Click any green spot on any image below.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Jazz Pickle or Zucchini Fanatic?

It’s no secret that the overwhelming majority of psychics are charlatans, but it has been my experience that a desperate chicken will go to any lengths to understand it’s road-crossing behavior. Unfortunately, that particular enduring question of the ages is still unresolved. (more…)

Thief Boobs Puppet

Bizarro is brought to you today by Career Opportunities.

When did criminals stop wearing those cute little taxi-driver caps, a Lone Ranger mask and a striped, long-sleeved T-shirt? Probably around the time banks stopped printing dollar signs on the sides of their money bags, but if I was going to commit a crime, I would definitely dress that way because people would never guess you were actually a criminal. They’d just think you were going to a costume party or something. Furthermore, if I was in jail and relegated to wearing one of those bright orange jumpsuits that say “PRISONER” or whatever across the back, I’d only escape on Halloween night. You could saunter down the street, even stop and chat with cops, and nobody would suspect a thing. A Halloween parade would be an excellent getaway vehicle. Also for a murderer covered with blood and carrying a chainsaw. (more…)