Quintuple Cavalcade of Comedy

Bizarro is brought to you today by Tiny Alien.

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Monday: Dogs are funny. Dogs without electronics are just sad. (Get a print of this cartoon.)

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Tuesday: I was on a jury once for a one-day civil trial and it was boring as hell. I can imagine after a long trial wishing that someone would kill me. (Get a print of this cartoon.)
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Jobs Imposter Indians Indians

bz panel 07-14-14bz strip 07-14-14bz panel 07-15-14bz strip 07-15-14bz panel 07-16-14bz strip 07-16-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Immigration Ego Battles.

This first cartoon was inspired by the fact that I’ve got a couple of very smart, hardworking, talented, adult daughters who found it very difficult to find meaningful work when they graduated college. Of course, their degrees in 16th century transportation innovations of the Berbers, and Poetry of the Malagasy Republic may have something to do with it, but still. You’d think someone would want to hire these amazing young women that I personally groomed to be valuable contributors to the planet. Even so, I’m happy to report that both are living indoors and eating daily and that neither has ever worked for life-destroying corporations like McDonalds. (more…)

Guns and Salad

bizarro 05-25-14 hedrBizarro 05-25-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Land of the Free.

 

For those Jazz Pickles who have never been to a U.S. state that allows random citizens to carry firearms (yes, Europe, we have those) you’ve never likely seen a sign on the door of a shop that says to check your gun at the door. And you’ve almost certainly never seen one of these. (more…)

Bizarro Original Art for Sale

This week finds some

RARE ORIGINAL ART FROM BIZARRO UP FOR AUCTION

at eBay. It’s one of my favorite gags and has some pretty nifty artwork and a hand-drawn color guide that went to the printer with it. Check it out here––bid often and generously!

The images below are what’s for sale. Go to the eBay page for larger versions with more detail. Thanks! (more…)

Gamble

bz panel 08-03-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Ernie’s Right-Hand Man.

I’m not a gambler but I’ve been to Vegas a few times for various other reasons. It’s one of those places that is fascinating for a while just because it is so surreal. The buildings, the people, everything is crazy.bz strip 08-03-13 The first time I went, however, I was 18 and things were different. I had won an art contest of sorts, the prize for which was a weekend in Vegas for two. At that age, I had barely been on a commercial flight before, much less traveled to a place as strange as Vegas without adult supervision. I remember drinking and going into casinos and strip clubs but I can’t remember why they let me in. I was clearly underage (at 18, I could’ve passed for 16) but I suppose the laws then were not very strict. Or at least the enforcement wasn’t. (more…)

Cell Signals

bz panel 07-19-13bz strip 07-19-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Smoke Signals Over My Back Yard Last Week.

There was a time when I resisted getting a cell phone when most of my friends already had them. Even after I gave in, I rarely used it and it didn’t ring but once or twice a month because so few people had my number. Now, more than ten years later, I’m never without it. Not only do I never leave the house without it (unthinkable!) but I never leave the room without it. I carry it with me to the bathroom for a quick pee, I pop it into my pocket when I go out to check the mail. It’s amazing how these newfangled technologies worm their way into your life and you can’t live without them. It’s a lot like dating; you figure you’ll try it for a while and before you know it, you’re married. (more…)