Joining Twins

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by A Visit To A Town In Arkansas Called Flippin.Bizarro 07-12-15 hdr Bizarro 07-12-15 WEBHere’s an odd bit of punctuation fun. If you’re not familiar with punctuation and have never (or rarely) used it, it’s those little dots and dashes that sometime squeeze themselves in between words or hover magically above them. In this case, the little dash after the last “E” in Siamese is called a “comma” and changes the meaning of the caption. Without it, it would not be referring to a cat, which it is, but would instead lead one to believe I had used an outdated, non-PC term for conjoined twins. Which I have not. In spite of the impression your 7th grade English teacher gave you, punctuation can be fun.bz panel 07-06-15Way back last Monday I published this cartoon about mice. Part of what’s funny about it is that mice don’t wear clothes or enter the medical profession. bz panel 07-07-15At the risk of sounding immodest, I really like this little bait-and-switch optical illusion cartoon or whatever you want to call it. I think tiny people inside of desk intercoms are funny.bz panel 07-08-15For the most part, critics have been kind to me over the years. One key, of course, is that critics don’t critique cartoonists very often. The worst thing about critics, however, is that they feel they MUST say something negative, even in a positive review, to avoid the impression that they are ass-kissing. Lousy ones do little more than trash people.bz panel 07-09-15This witch/cop cartoon is another grammar-related thing, I guess. Some people think wordplay is lowbrow but I like it under certain circumstance. bz panel 07-10-15If you’ve ever had a chicken bone in your throat, this cartoon needs no explanation.bz panel 07-11-15This cartoon came to me as I was thinking about the story of Little Red Riding Hood. In the original story, as I recall, the wolf eats the grandma, nearly eats LRRH, then a woodsman shows up, cuts open the wolf and pulls the grandma out of its stomach thus saving her life. I think this is a terrible story to tell children because it inaccurately teaches them that wolves do not chew their food.
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Is That Necessary?

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I was at a crowded bar on New Year’s Eve 2012, sitting at a booth with a group of friends. I hated this bar because it was too crowded and the music was too loud and most of it was hip hop, which I cannot abide, so I was not having a very good time. As we sat at this booth, facing the crowded room and watching the various people doing their New Year’s Eve thang, a 20-something couple worked their way to the spot more-or-less right in front of our table. They were squirming around against each other engaged in something that could only barely be called dancing, and pawing each other like young, horny primates, which they most certainly were. It wasn’t pleasant to watch but it was understandable. Just then, the male primate decided to go get another drink, leaving the female to hold their spot on the floor. After he left, the female began moving to the “music” by herself, eyes cast down to the floor, her lips protruding in one of those I’m-cool-and-I’m-concentrating-on-what-I’m-doing “O” shapes. Then her entire body began to convulse. (more…)