Topiary Rat

Strangely, this cartoon T-shirt of mine is back on sale until 8pm Pacific Time tonight. People kept ordering them, so they opened the campaign up again. So cool!

Bizarro 09-20-15 hdrWEB(To experience more largerness, click any bush on the cartoon below.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Terror.Bizarro 09-20-15 WEBHere’s a bit of surreal fun for your Sunday. Not quite as surreal as Donald Trump being a front runner for the Republican nomination, but strange nonetheless. By the way, if you’ve not see the recent New Yorker cover illustration about the election, click this to see it now. I think it is a brilliant concept that perfectly illustrates certain factions of the American electorate. If you don’t quite get the joke, you’re likely not familiar with this photo and what happened in 1948 with major party presidential nominees Harry S Truman and Thomas Dewey. Dewey was well ahead in the polls on election day and a Chicago newspaper had the next day’s headline locked in and printed. But then Truman won. The NYker cover isn’t about the entire story, I think it is simply about the fact that America has become a place where people will vote for blowhard celebrities for president, instead of people who might actually do a good job.
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Java Jail Ovum Puke

bz panel 06-02-14bz strip 06-02-14bz panel 06-03-14bz strip 06-03-14bz panel 06-04-14bz strip 06-04-14

 

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Products To Avoid.

 

There’s been a lot in the news lately about various companies looking into using small drones like the one in this cartoon for home delivery of products bought online. I can’t believe this idea will “fly,” considering it will mean that eventually there will be thousands of little robots flying around with boxes hooked to the bottom, getting shot down by everyone from mischievous kids to thieves who hope to get lucky and not end up with a pair of fluffy slippers some grandmother ordered. This idea came from the brilliant and handsome, if not hygienic, Dan McConnell, a good friend and cartoonist colleague. If you want to see more of his work, he hangs out here. (more…)

Garbage and Crap

bz panel 10-14-13bz strip 10-14-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Wholesomeness.

As I’ve discussed on this blog before, no matter how long I’m in the syndicated cartoon business, I never cease to be amazed by the kinds of things that are and are not accepted for publication on newspaper funny pages. This cartoon is another example; the original version had “Crap” on the menu and the waiter was saying, “May I recommend the crap?” The childish crudeness of the term made this a funnier gag, in my opinion. But I was told that “crap” could not be used (because it is such a powerful, pernicious, society-corrupting word?) so I opted for the next best thing. The gag is the same, I guess, and America is still safe for women and children so it’s a happy ending. WHEW! (more…)

Scary Cotton

bz panel 09-03-13ghostbz strip 09-03-13ghostsBizarro is brought to you today by Ghosts In Training.

I don’t believe in ghosts or anything supernatural, but if after I die I discover that I do have the ability to haunt people, I’m definitely going to wear a bed sheet with eye holes cut out of it. The look on people’s faces when confronted with a howling bed sheet in the middle of the night would be priceless. Horror? Confusion? Amusement? A strobe of all three would be best, as far as I’m concerned. (more…)

Honey Jailbird

Bizarro is brought to you today by The End of Civilization.

I like a train wreck as well as the next guy but I’ve not seen this Honey Boo Boo that has become so popular on American TV, and I hope to spare myself that particular pleasure for the rest of my life. For those of you who’ve never heard of her or her show, she’s an obese 8-year-old from a hillbilly family whose mother got her involved in those “beauty pageants” for children. She was (or is) a part of a cable show about those whorish events for pedophiles called Toddlers & Tiaras. Because she and her mother are so unabashedly horrendous in so many ways, she got her own show called, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Of course she did, because that’s how things work now. If you’re an extraordinarily disgusting person and willing to display your skills in front of a camera, you can have a reality show. (Not all reality shows are about disgusting people, but many are.) I think of it as the modern, American version of the habit of ancient Romans of throwing live prisoners (not just Christians) to hungry lions and other dangerous beasts as a crowd watched. Enough people enjoy this kind of thing to score big ratings today, just as they did then. We haven’t changed as much as we’d like to believe. (more…)

Terror Cell

Bizarro was made possible today by Tough Customers.

Have you ever been to jail? I have not and confess that it is my greatest fear. Being incarcerated for even a few hours would drive me absolutely bat-shit crazy, which is likely why I can’t stand to see any animal of any kind in a cage of any kind unless it is only temporary transport to the vet or whatever. (more…)

Mao Dummy Alien Cat Pee God Santa Nixon Crook

 

(To see this cartoon as big as China, click on Mao’s third button.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Hover Cats.

I’ve been away for a while visiting my hometown of Tulsa, Oklahoma. I was asked to deliver the commencement address at their midterm graduation and had a ball doing it. As many times as I have spoken and performed in public, I was pretty nervous. Big crowd, lots of big brains, funny outfits, a giant basketball scoreboard with a live video feed of me talking hanging over the center of the room right in front of me. To top it all off, I couldn’t see my notes so I had to mostly wing it. I guess it went okay. (more…)