Shaggy Dogg Storry

bz panel 11-25-13bz strip 11-25-13bz panel 11-26-13bz strip 11-26-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Luchador.

Welcome to Twofer Tuesday. The “two” in twofer stands for two cartoons, as you have most certainly figured out if your brain function is anywhere close to normal.

The reason I often post two cartoons on Tuesday is because I was too busy on Monday to post. The reason I’m often too busy on Monday to post is that that is the day that I am supposed to send in a new week’s worth of cartoons to King Features but I’ve rarely got them done and don’t feel I can waste any time posting. The reason I’ve rarely got them done is because on weekends I am either too busy or too lazy to get much work done. (On a really good weekend, it is both.) The reason I say “lazy” is because I love few things more than lounging around on Sundays watching football with my goddam dog, Jemima, who sleeps on my lap. The reason she’s a “goddam” dog is because when I leave her home alone for too long (more than 90 seconds) she finds something of mine to drag out to the backyard and chew on. To date, she has destroyed two pairs of my shoes, a pair of motorcycle glasses, numerous socks (I assume they’ve been destroyed because they’ve been missing for a long time) a pair of pants, a glove, a stocking cap (Canadians: what you amusingly call a “tuke” or “toque”) a TV remote, over 850 pounds of trash and recycling (her favorite treat when I forget to put the recycling bin out of reach) a bunch of bananas, and the wooden gate separating my yard from the neighbor’s. (more…)

Not a Garage Sale

bz panel 11-09-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Relaxing Saturday Afternoon Tea Party.

I suspect that most of the people who read my cartoons on this blog don’t actually read the hilarious and thought-provoking copy that I add alongside. So, just for you, my most precious and loyal Jazz Pickles, I will tell you a super exciting secret. In January I’ll be launching a Bizarro podcast! It will be called the Bizarro Podcast and it’s going to be awesome. All of the same hilarious and thought-provoking irreverence you’re accustomed to on this blog, but with my hilarious and thought-provoking voice and personality to boot. (Where the hell did “to boot” come from? Strange expression.) (more…)