Surviving Magic Alien Harry

(To see the above celebrities in all their TMZ glory, click on Snooki’s butt.)

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I admit I’ve never seen any of the “Survivor” TV shows. I’m not a big fan of that sort of reality game-show stuff, but I get the gist. It was therefore simple (and a LOT of fun) to imagine one in which my favorite celebrities to despise are left on an island to fight it out amongst them selves and never be heard from again. Simon Cowell is one I missed. Can’t stand that guy. I didn’t want to mess with caricatures, but if you click on the image and blow it up, you should be able to spot Paris, Bruce Jenner, Kim Kardashian, Richard Simmons, Donald Trump, and Snooki. The others are just cast members of Jersey Shore or lesser Kardashians. (more…)

Famous Alien Roofs

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I’m not a pop-culture scientist (and have never even played one on TV) but it seems to me that we now experience far more “celebrities” who cannot actually do anything special than we ever have before. I blame reality TV shows. If you can somehow con your way onto one of these god-forsaken shows, you can become a rich and famous “celebrity” by just being the jackass you’ve been all your life. The most distressing part of this equation is that millions of people will actually worship you. Kim Kardashian’s most unique gift is her inherited fortune and comically huge clown ass. Snooki’s is her utter lack of dignity or shame. These are now considered talents. It makes me shudder. Then vomit. Then hold a gun to my head. (The only reason I’m still able to write this post is that my unfamiliarity with guns led me to buy batteries instead of bullets.) (more…)