Cave Sex Battles

Bizarro 09-28-04 hdrWEBBizarro 09-28-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Grammar.

I’m a self-proclaimed amateur expert on human behavior and anthropology and was pondering one day about how women tend to be more verbal than men. It then occurred to me that it would not surprise me in the least to find that females attained speech long before men, which is the point of this cartoon. It now occurs to me that an alternate interpretation of this cartoon is that both sexes had speech but it was hundreds of years before men actually started using it. That wouldn’t surprise me, either. Though most of my cartoons are not autobiographical, this one almost is. I’m not the traditionally silent type and probably talk far too much for my own good, but I was once married to a woman who could not stop talking if you had sewn her mouth shut. She woke up rambling on and on and it continued until after I fell asleep at night. It was disturbing, and not just to my sleep. (For a color print of this comic, go here.) (more…)

Suck or Eat?

bz panel 09-26-13bz strip 09-26-13bz 10-29-12 VAMPIRE Xbz 10-29-12 VAMPIREBizarro was brought to you today by Hair Care.

Here’s a story that demonstrates the kind of ambiguous rules that the newspaper comics business operate under.

Back in October of 2012, one year ago, the vampire cartoon below was rejected as being too suggestive to run in newspapers, purely because it contains the word, “suck,” which newspaper comics editors dislike because it can be interpreted to allude to fellatio. (As though a vampire would be referring to homosexual prostitution as opposed to good-old-fashioned murder of a mortal.) So, I changed the comic to the second version, “Why lie? Need blood.” It’s okay but not as funny as the original, in my opinion. But that brings us to today’s cartoon, a mere year later, which raised no eyebrows at all. Huh? (more…)

Offensive Humor

bz panel 06-21-13bz strip 06-21-13Today’s Bizarro is brought to you by Language.

If you take a moment to think about what the first and last words the human species spoke or will speak, you’ll likely come to the same conclusion as this cartoon.

For years I’ve done a lot of thinking about “taboo” words in general. To the best of my estimation, profanity, cussing, cursing, whatever you call it, has its roots in archaic superstition. When I ask myself why certain words are off limits and how that tradition started, I can only think that it began in ancient times when certain words or ideas were thought to offend a god of some sort. Today, most modern people don’t give that as the reason that they are offended by certain language. The most common explanation is that “it doesn’t sound nice.” But is that not simply because we’ve been taught to believe those words don’t sound nice? (more…)