Lincoln and Logs

Bz panel 07-11-13 Lbz strip 07-11-13 LBizarro is brought to you today by MaxiQtips.

All I have to say is that this wooden dummy has a lot of nerve talking to a champion log-splitter like this.

A week later, the ventriloquist leaves the hospital with a stump where his right hand used to be.











Today’s classic Bizarro is another take on Lincoln, our nation’s greatest presidential inspiration for big-budget Hollywood films. (more…)

Dopey Pen Abe Coal Armor Bug

Bizarro is brought to you today by How To Build Your Own Sexless Dwarf.

Hello, Jazz Pickles, and welcome to this week’s cartoon round-up. My first cartoon today is a fun little twist on Lance Armstrong’s recent travails. For those who do not recognize that name, he won an unprecedented 7 Tour de Frances (a real hard bicycle race that lasts for days and days). Being the first person to ever come close to such a feat, and having done this after defeating testicular cancer, he was perhaps the biggest hero in sports history. Turns out he was doping in a wide variety of ways, officials inside whatever the international bike racing organization is called knew about it and not only turned a blind eye, but helped him. Wow. Just like that, Armstrong is now the Hitler of sports. Humans can be smarmy. By the way, this bit of fun fun word play was in collaboration with my good friend and The King of Wordplay, Cliff Harris. (more…)

Baby Snail Drown Balls Bra Slavery

Bizarro is brought to you today by Big Babies.

Welcome to another weekly roundup of Bizarro cartoons. For this first cartoon, I’ve included the strip version as well as the usual panel version because I put some extra work into the cereal boxes on the shelf and wanted to share them. Lots of “icons” to search for in this one–not that they are hidden. Click on the cartoons to see them biggerer. (more…)