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Dog Amputee Monster Dog

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Dung Beetle.

I’m on vacation this week and keeping my blog posts short!

 

 

 

Thursday’s cartoon: My dog would do this. No doubt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday’s cartoon: My dog would not do this. Especially if the kid had snacks. She would shred homework, though, judging by the way she treats mail. (more…)

Loud Food Kilt Floppy Disk

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Epiphanies.

 

Personally, I never accept anything offered for free for fear that strings will be attached. I don’t like strings. Not even free ones.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This cartoon is autobiographical because while writing cartoons one day and thinking about zombies, I suddenly realized that they could eat their own brains. Sorry it is so disgusting. (more…)

Vowel Whoa Blow Text Stumps

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Bizarro is brought to you today by WHAT?

 

This first cartoon is perhaps a bit of a “groaner” to some, but I still think it’s a clever gag so I went with it. I’m glad I did because I really love the woman’s face. Something about it makes me happy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Old West’s version of the four-way stop is a recent favorite of mine. I love doing cartoons about the Old West and this is something I’d not seen before. I’m also driven crazy by other drivers who can’t figure out how four-way stops work. Or, it’s their turn and they wave everyone else by because they’re too timid to enter an intersection with others watching. (more…)

Undies Fish TV Laptop

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Latest Disguise Technology.

 

Ever wondered if Tarzan wore underwear? Neither had I until I did, and it resulted in this cartoon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This barroom cartoon is a collaboration with my good friend and known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I’ve been told by a few readers that I got the symbol count wrong on this vertical version, it should be 7 instead of 6. The strip is wrong, too. I only count 4. Sometimes my counting ain’t so good, and neither is my editor’s. Wayno blathers eloquently about this cartoon and his original sketch here. (more…)

Java Jail Ovum Puke

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Products To Avoid.

 

There’s been a lot in the news lately about various companies looking into using small drones like the one in this cartoon for home delivery of products bought online. I can’t believe this idea will “fly,” considering it will mean that eventually there will be thousands of little robots flying around with boxes hooked to the bottom, getting shot down by everyone from mischievous kids to thieves who hope to get lucky and not end up with a pair of fluffy slippers some grandmother ordered. This idea came from the brilliant and handsome, if not hygienic, Dan McConnell, a good friend and cartoonist colleague. If you want to see more of his work, he hangs out here. (more…)

Below Deck

Bizarro 04-27-14 hdrWEBBizarro 04-27-14 WEB(Click on anyone’s nose to get a larger image.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Japanese TV of the 1960s.

I like today’s gag because it’s one of those that doesn’t quite click (for most readers) until they read the dialogue balloon, then search around the image for what it means. I used to have one of those mirror periscope toys when I was a kid. I don’t know why it was fun to see around corners but it was. There was invariably nothing of great interest to see that I couldn’t have witnessed by walking around the corner, but imagination is a powerful thing. (more…)

Potatoes ‘n’ Peanuts

bizarro 03-30-14 hedrWEBBizarro 03-30-14 WEB(To witness a more bigger cartoon, click on any piece of furniture.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Everyone’s Favorite Toy.

I’ve always loved Mr. Potato Head and have done quite a few cartoons about him. The title panel at left, in fact, is a picture of me from when I was about three-years-old. I often dressed as Mr. Potato Head in those days, much to the chagrin of my parents. (more…)

Tattoo Find Funny Age Gumby

bz panel 03-08-14bz strip 03-08-14Bizarro is brought to you today by a Prison For Bearded Children.

We start this post with last Saturday’s cartoon, which I have not posted yet because I was on a secret CIA mission to the moon. It was lovely up there but I was almost killed by secret agents from somewhere in the Andromeda galazy. Damn, it’s exciting being a cartoonist. (more…)

Bubble Curtain Bear Drugs

bz panel 02-24-14bz panel 02-25-14bz strip 02-25-14bz panel 02-26-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Clumsy Dentists.

 

Monday’s cartoon is the brain fruit of my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I’ve seen these e-cigarettes around but I don’t really know how they work. For a while, you could smoke them indoors since, I presume, they pose no second-hand smoke risk or smell, but now they are beginning to ban them indoors like real cigarettes, I suppose because people have been brainwashed in the U.S. for so many decades to believe that smoking, or even pretending to, is the most dangerous thing any person can do short of cleaning a gun with the barrel in your mouth. (more…)

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