A Bird in the Hand

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Lifestyle Choices.Bizarro 07-26-15 hdrWEBBizarro 07-26-15 WEBRegarding the above cartoon, one reader left the following comment: “The idea of advocating romantic relationships between species is disgusting and exactly what the Christian Right predicted would happen if we legalized gay marriage!” Okay, that reader was me, but I wish I’d gotten that complaint because it’s funny.bz panel 07-20-15I’ve long called martial arts “the pajama arts” but I mean no insult by it. I find it fascinating that a barefooted person wearing pajamas can beat the crap out of someone with a baseball bat, wearing protective gear and ass-kicking boots. Or at least, that’s how it happens in the movies.bz panel 07-21-15This coffee gag is one that has doubtless been thought of a million times and I did a version of it way back in the early 90s myself. But it’s fun, people like it, and my job is to amuse my readers not stroke my own ego with my clever originality, so here it is.
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Art & Self Defense

Bizarro 08-25-13 WEB

 

 

 

(For enlargering, click the Martian’s pjhxrn.)

This Bizarro cartoon is brought to you by Knowledge.

Today’s cartoon stars my lovely and badass SpecialLadyFriend, Klamelda. I chose her for this role not because she is beautiful, smart, and funny, but because she’s also a 3rd degree black belt in Karate. For reals, pickles. I think she’s also the top-ranked active female in the state of California in her style of Karate, the name of which I can never remember. Sounds like a sushi dish. (It’s a type that does not break planks of wood or piles of bricks, by the way.) She actually wears black Karate pajamas (don’t know how to spell the name of those outfits, sounds like “gee” with a hard “g”) which you can only do if you’re a black belt. But I used white jammies for this image so that readers would immediately recognize it as a martial arts outfit. Sometimes cartoonists have to rely on stereotypes to keep the reader from stumbling on their way to the punch line. I made the place purple to make up for putting her in white pajamas because that’s her favorite color. (more…)