Fleeing Fleas

Bizarro is brought to you today by My New Offices!Bizarro 07-19-15 hdrWEBBizarro 07-19-15 WEBI hope you enjoy this version of the popular horror story meme wherein a traveling couple’s car breaks down and they have to ask a scary person if they can spend the night in that person’s farmhouse, castle, etc. The setup is a bit outdated now that cell phones have been invented but I suppose you could always claim there’s no reception in that area because of inherent evil or something. (Note: I put a little extra work on the reflection in the hardwood floors so please take a moment to enjoy that.)bz panel 07-13-15I’m sure one or more cats are actually running for president next year but I suspect that, as usual, The Man won’t let them on the ballot. This is entirely because cats cannot be bought by corporations.bz panel 07-14-15I have out-of-body experiences every single day, but it’s always involving other people’s bodies. Something to think about. bz panel 07-15-15I’ve always thought the coolest thing about porcupines is that when threatened, they can throw their quills outward from their body. Much like our “goosebumps” or “gooseflesh,” but with consequences.bz panel 07-16-15Yes, I know I have a bug up my ass about unnecessarily large vehicles and I’ve done a lot of cartoons about that. Here’s another one. The salesman is unnecessarily large, too, but that’s a whole other issue about the American industrialized food system.

Royal Blood

bz panel 01-27-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Flotation Device.

Today’s gag is dry and subtle but I like dry, subtle gags and so do many of you Jazz Pickles so I proudly present it to you here. The idea is from my good friend, Cliff Harris, the King of Wordplay. Puns are often thought to be lowbrow and easy, but truly surprising puns that the reader would likely not have thought of themselves are a delight that usually result in a chuckle. My job here is done.bz 10-22-95 MorguePricesWEB (more…)

Against the Wall

bz panel 09-07-13storebz strip 09-07-13storeBizarro is brought to you today by Hell On Earth.

This cartoon is meant to be about stores in general that broadcast TV commercials where everyone is beautiful and happy. But with the overweight old guy greeting customers and the badly-dressed, obese customer, it distinctly resembles a Walmart. (For my European and Asian readers, that’s a chain of stores the size of an indoor soccer stadium that sell everything you can imagine: clothes, appliances, electronics, furniture, carpets, shoes, tools, soap, prepackaged and fresh foods, guns, ammo, tires, sporting equipment, prescription drugs, you name it. They have prices so low that they drive all of the independently owned stores in the community out of business, then the owners and employees of those stores typically have to work for Walmart, because all of the other jobs are gone and they can no longer afford to shop anywhere else. Sort of American capitalism’s version of debtor’s prison.) (more…)