Born Adults

Bizarro 05-22-16 HdrWEB

(A simple click of any illustration here will delightfully embiggenate it.)
Bizarro 05-22-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Enduring Myths.

Today’s Sunday cartoon is a soft joke but one that made me smile. The mythical notion of humans just popping up in life as full-grown, modern adults and trying to negotiate the world around them is always amusing to me, but this is a wrinkle I’ve never thought of before. The utterly casual callousness of Adam and Eve as the quintessential “new parents” is devilishly delightful: “Sorry kid. We have no idea what we’re doing, and how could we?” I felt that way with my first daughter, who was born a full decade before I had any business being a parent.
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Stampede Fish Rapunzel Parrot Miscreant

Bizarro 09-07-14 hdrWEBBizarro 09-07-14 WEBbz panel 09-08-14bz strip 09-08-14bz panel 09-09-14bz strip 09-09-14bz panel 09-10-14bz strip 09-10-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Attack of the Trump Clones.

To my regular readers of this blog I’d like to apologize for being so tardy in my posts of late. I was accidentally cast as the narrator/host of a show on FOX called “Utopia,” and since this is the first week of the show and I’m the only one on it allowed to leave to do interviews and press, they’ve kept me super busy. I’m having a ball with it, although it is still completely surreal. More about how this happened in my previous post here. Meanwhile, here are some cartoons to catch you up on my “real” life as a cartoonist. (more…)

Pill Banjo Head

Bizarro is brought to you today by Awesome Logos.

Whenever I operate heavy machinery, the overwhelming responsibility of it overwhelms me. As well it should. When I’m operating a backhoe or wrecking ball, the knowledge that the slightest misstep can send tons of steel in the wrong direction causing destruction, injury, or even death, weighs heavily on me. I find that the only way I can bear this kind of deadly power in my hands is to be dead drunk. Thank goodness for cheap vodka. (more…)

Molar Bagpipe Midgets

Bizarro is brought to you today by My New Book.

This joke will make no sense to someone who has never seen that anthropomorphized tooth character that dentists use to get kids to take care of their teeth. I always found them kind of scary because my vivid imagination couldn’t just leave them on the page. I always imagined meeting such a creature face to face. In my mind he was about five feet tall and four feet wide. That childhood fear was the inspiration for this Bizarro cartoon from a few weeks back. (more…)