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The Week in Wackadoodle

bizarro 01-11-15 hdr WEBBizarro 01-11-15 WEBbz panel 01-05-15bz strip 01-05-15bz panel 01-06-15bz strip 01-06-15bz panel 01-07-15bz strip 01-07-15bz panel 01-08-15bz strip 01-08-15bz panel 01-09-15bz strip 01-09-15bz panel 01-10-15bz strip 01-10-15Bizarro is brought to you today by My Favorite Kind of Drum Music.

My big Sunday cartoon today (click it to make it bigger) is about a topic that has been on my mind a bit lately. I ride motorcycles and a bicycle through the streets of Los Angeles and cannot tell you the number of times I’ve almost been mowed down by someone messing with their smartphone while they are supposed to be driving. Seriously, people, is your Facebook status or that text that just came in worth spending time in prison for manslaughter? But, like all dark clouds, there is a silver lining: I never wait in traffic lines anymore when I need to get over into a crowded lane. I just go past the traffic, then slowly and calmly move into the desired lane at the last minute in any one of several huge gaps left by people who are looking at their smartphones instead of moving when it’s their turn. Most of them don’t even notice I’m cutting in line because to do that, they’d have to be paying attention to what can be seen through the windshield of their car.
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Wasting Time

bizarro 12-14-14 hdr WEB Bizarro 12-14-14 WEB (Make any picture bigger by clicking it with your clicker thing.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Advanced Self Defense.

I’ve done quite a few cartoons about the famous “Ascent of Man” illustrations. This one is specifically about the tech age and how so many people have utterly abandoned their bodies and “real” lives for online substitutes. It would take who-knows-how-many years to get to this point in evolution, of course, and we’ll likely kill ourselves off as a species long before then.
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Chiropractic Tarzan

Bizarro 11-30-14 hedrWEB Bizarro 11-30-14 WEB (Click the images to make them look bigger with suddeness.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Nothing a Can of Gasoline and a Match Wouldn’t Cure.

Sorry for the missing posts over the weekend. The site was wearing it’s cranky pants and wouldn’t let me post.

This is the most literal example of “gallows humor” you may ever see. And in the end, it isn’t dark at all, which sort of takes it out of the category altogether. Oh, the contradictions of life.
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Casual Probing Racism Comb-over

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I moved from NYC to LA a few years ago and have become even more keenly aware of the differences in their cultures than I was when I was only visiting here. Life in California is generally so much more relaxed than in NYC, which isn’t surprising, but the effect it has on people is glorious. The average person on the street––behind a counter or reception desk, answering a phone call for a business, driving a bus, etc.––is friendlier by a factor of 6.3 (by my unofficial calculations) than their East Coast counterparts. I love that about the West. Thinking along this line, I couldn’t help imagining the clash between how things are done in offices in the east compared to the west. (more…)

Suey Horse Locker Hillbilly

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Bizarro is brought to you today by The Power of Art.

 

As with most things in life, Chinese food is about your point of view.

(That sounds like it means something deep but I’ve no idea what it might be.)

(Get a print of this cartoon here.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love Westerns but I always hate it when they shoot a horse. This cartoon doesn’t bother me as much, though, because when I was a kid I was bitten by a sawhorse and I’ve hated them ever since. (Get a print of this cartoon here.) (more…)

Cowboy Dung Barf Hospital

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Dung Beetle.

 

Here’s an interesting bit of history from the American Old West: before there were face lotions with sunscreen built into them, cowboys used to have to carry around a little plastic bottle of the stuff and reapply every couple of hours. That’s the only way they could stay young looking on the trail. (more…)

Jobs Imposter Indians Indians

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This first cartoon was inspired by the fact that I’ve got a couple of very smart, hardworking, talented, adult daughters who found it very difficult to find meaningful work when they graduated college. Of course, their degrees in 16th century transportation innovations of the Berbers, and Poetry of the Malagasy Republic may have something to do with it, but still. You’d think someone would want to hire these amazing young women that I personally groomed to be valuable contributors to the planet. Even so, I’m happy to report that both are living indoors and eating daily and that neither has ever worked for life-destroying corporations like McDonalds. (more…)

Riding Sinfully

Bizarro 06-15-14 hedrWEB (For a biggenized version of these cartoons, click them.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by How Many Ways Can You Spell “Boogie”?

The “header panel” at left is borrowed from a recent Sunday Bizarro cartoon that looked like this. Sometimes I do that. I really like this character based on Wild Bill Hickok so I used him again.
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Vowel Whoa Blow Text Stumps

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Bizarro is brought to you today by WHAT?

 

This first cartoon is perhaps a bit of a “groaner” to some, but I still think it’s a clever gag so I went with it. I’m glad I did because I really love the woman’s face. Something about it makes me happy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Old West’s version of the four-way stop is a recent favorite of mine. I love doing cartoons about the Old West and this is something I’d not seen before. I’m also driven crazy by other drivers who can’t figure out how four-way stops work. Or, it’s their turn and they wave everyone else by because they’re too timid to enter an intersection with others watching. (more…)

Guns and Salad

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For those Jazz Pickles who have never been to a U.S. state that allows random citizens to carry firearms (yes, Europe, we have those) you’ve never likely seen a sign on the door of a shop that says to check your gun at the door. And you’ve almost certainly never seen one of these. (more…)

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