Uber Legume

Bizarro 07-10-16 HdrWEB

(For some real good embiggenation, click any image with your clicker deal.)

Bizarro 07-10-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Words of Wisdom From Yesteryear.

Hey, Jazz Pickles. Sorry for the delayed post, I’m out of town and things are wonky.

The cartoon above is a pun on the Uber phenomenon, which has revolutionized the taxi industry; cheaper and more efficient for the consumer, not a good thing for the traditional taxi folks. But that’s beside the point. The point here is a frivolous pun about Uber and goober. (Goober is slang for “peanut”.) The car is a Mercury Comet from the 70s. I like drawing vintage vehicles, especially oddball, goofy ones like this. The truck being used in this cartoon by Bunny’s Pie Repair is some kind of mid-century, British utility van that I found a picture of on the Interwebs. I don’t remember the name of it. Be sure to click on the image and embiggenate it to find the various background jokes and the secret symbols, which today number 7.
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Parabolic Cartoonery

Before I get to this week’s cartoons, I’d like to tell you about this T-shirt campaign featuring one of my most popular cartoons. A portion of the proceeds benefit “Roots & Shoots,” a kid’s program at the Jane Goodall Institute. Only ONE WEEK LEFT in the campaign, then the shirt is gone for good! Thanks! Have a look now, then come back. And don’t hesitate to “like,” tweet, forward, etc. it so that other’s may find out about it, too!Bizarro12-30-07DevolutionWEBBizarro is brought to you today by Church Humor?Bizarro 08-02-15 hdrWEB Bizarro 08-02-15 WEBThis Sunday cartoon is a long and winding road and you’ll likely need to enlarge it to get the most out of it. Do that by clicking it. On my computer, I have to click it, then reload the page it goes to before it appears. No idea why; computer voodoo, I guess.
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Circular Chuckling

Bizarro is brought to you today by Where Jazz Pickles Jiggle.

I’m trying a new format today to see if it reduces some problems some folks have viewing this blog on various futuristic devices. Let me know if this is better or worse.

ALSO: Always remember that cartoon prints make affordable and classy gifts for yourself, friends, family, and enemies alike. Just find the image you want using the Bizarro.com calendar thing, and click the “buy prints” link below!Bizarro 06-14-15 hdrWEB
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Alt Tarzan

Bizarro 03-22-15 hdrBizarro 03-22-15 WEB(Nobody will mind if you make these cartoons larger by clicking them. Try it. You’ll see.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Horseracing Cheaters.

Last Sunday I published a cartoon with soldiers on a statue of a pigeon (this week’s title panel was constructed from it, in fact!) so this makes it two Sunday’s in a row that I’ve featured a cartoon with a human on a statue. This kind of thing often happens to cartoonists; one idea leads to another idea in the same vein. I like this one about Tarzan being raised in a city park instead of the jungles of Africa. The perspective was fun to draw and it has a few behind-the-scenes aspects that truly dedicated Jazz Pickles might find interesting: The statue’s plaque features a name that is similar to my fiance-in-law who is an award-winning brewmaster, the speaking character looks more-or-less like me a couple decades ago, the name on the back of his jersey refers to my lovely life partner, Olive Oyl, and the 13 is my daughter’s birth date (the one engaged to my fiance-in-law.) Lastly, more observant readers will notice that I tucked Tarzan’s loin cloth beneath him, thus obscuring an unpleasant view. You’re welcome. bz panel 03-16-15 bz panel 03-17-15 bz panel 03-18-15 bz panel 03-19-15bz strip 03-19-15bz panel 03-20-15 bz panel 03-21-15
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Clarity

bz panel 11-21-13bz strip 11-21-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Mustache Overkill.

So I’ve been including a mustache in most all of my cartoons in November, as part of that Movember movement thing. Can you find the hidden mustache in this image? Here’s a hint: it’s under the doctor’s nose.

If I were an optometrist or ophthalmologist (what’s with the extra letters in that word, for chaos’ sake?) I’d have a traditional eye chart printed up in this typeface, just to screw with patients. See how that works? I’d be the “funny doctor.” But I wouldn’t stop there, I’d go ahead and fit them with glasses that make the poster clear again, then send them off to buy glasses as thick as butcher block table. Oh, the laughs we’d have. (more…)

Tryptich

bz panel 09-04-13pantsbz strip 09-04-13pantsbz panel 09-05-13shoesbz strip 09-05-13shoesbz panel 09-06-13clarkbz strip 09-06-13clarkBizarro is brought to you today by The Women of Idaho.

I’m way behind on the blog this week, Jazz Pickles, because I’ve been hammering on cartoons all week so I could get out of town this weekend. I’m going to Sacramentos to do a little comedy show at a restaurant (see previous post) and I hope some of you will be there! (more…)

Eyes on the Prize

bz panel 05-13-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Tiny Dermatologist.

In detective dramas, a little cash often improves someone’s memory. Some brainy researchers at a famous medical institute decided to test if this same principle would apply to other sorts of human functions and got some interesting results. In a study performed on 627 people with a variety of conditions from poor eyesight to dry skin to arthritis to bullet wounds to the head, they found that virtually every patient who received money claimed to feel better and asked for an ongoing cash-injection treatment program. One patient, a germaphobe, refused to take the “filthy, disease-ridden” cash, but this result was not common and classified as an anomaly. (more…)

Early Alert System

bz panel 04-25-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Differently Abled.

If you are a blind person reading this post, I’d love to know how. Do you have a computer that speaks the words on the screen or is it a braille device that interprets what I’m typing now into little raised bumps on some exterior device? I don’t know if this kind of technology exists, but I wouldn’t be surprised and it should if it doesn’t. (more…)

Booty Cast Thug Idea Exam Blur

Bizarro is brought to you today by Grizzly Bear Coin Purse.

You’ve stumbled upon this week’s roundup of Bizarro cartoons. First up is this silly little ditty by my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I love this gag and it makes me realize how much has changed in recent years. Not long ago, women worried about have a large butt. Now, with superstar-mondo-caboose celebs like J-Lo and Kim Kardashian, many women wish their butts were bigger. It’s always nice to have a role model, no matter what your body type, I suppose. Here’s what Wayno has to say about this collaboration. (more…)