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Alt Tarzan

Bizarro 03-22-15 hdrBizarro 03-22-15 WEB(Nobody will mind if you make these cartoons larger by clicking them. Try it. You’ll see.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Horseracing Cheaters.

Last Sunday I published a cartoon with soldiers on a statue of a pigeon (this week’s title panel was constructed from it, in fact!) so this makes it two Sunday’s in a row that I’ve featured a cartoon with a human on a statue. This kind of thing often happens to cartoonists; one idea leads to another idea in the same vein. I like this one about Tarzan being raised in a city park instead of the jungles of Africa. The perspective was fun to draw and it has a few behind-the-scenes aspects that truly dedicated Jazz Pickles might find interesting: The statue’s plaque features a name that is similar to my fiance-in-law who is an award-winning brewmaster, the speaking character looks more-or-less like me a couple decades ago, the name on the back of his jersey refers to my lovely life partner, Olive Oyl, and the 13 is my daughter’s birth date (the one engaged to my fiance-in-law.) Lastly, more observant readers will notice that I tucked Tarzan’s loin cloth beneath him, thus obscuring an unpleasant view. You’re welcome. bz panel 03-16-15 bz panel 03-17-15 bz panel 03-18-15 bz panel 03-19-15bz strip 03-19-15bz panel 03-20-15 bz panel 03-21-15
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Sunday Punnies #35

Bizarro 07-13-14 hedrWEbBizarro 07-13-14 WEB(To see an enbigginated version of any of these cartoons, tap them with your clicker.)

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Self Defense Advice.

Here is number 35 in my series of “Sunday Punnies,” which are puns donated by readers, then expertly interpreted and illustrated by the best artist I could find without leaving my house. Congrats this time goes to Jay Branscomb, Cliff Harris (yes, The King of Wordplay), and Martin Baker.  If you have an original pun that you’d like to submit, leave it in the comments section of any post on this blog and I’ll consider it. Here are the rules: (more…)

Hen Nose Poop Motel

bizarro 05-04-14 hedrWEB Bizarro 05-04-14 WEB(You want some bigger cartoonage, Mr. Coolpants? Click any green spot on any image below.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Jazz Pickle or Zucchini Fanatic?

It’s no secret that the overwhelming majority of psychics are charlatans, but it has been my experience that a desperate chicken will go to any lengths to understand it’s road-crossing behavior. Unfortunately, that particular enduring question of the ages is still unresolved. (more…)

Flying Dead Geezer Brain

bz panel 04-14-14bz strip 04-14-14bz panel 04-15-14bz panel 04-16-14

 

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by But What If I Have One?

 

 

As funny cartoons about dogs go, I think this one holds its own. What’s funnier than a dog trying to fly? As I write this, I’m pondering whether I’d rather have a dog that can fly or one that just stands up and flaps his arms. I think the latter would be more fun, although the former would be more lucrative. (more…)

Three to Five Smiles

bz panel 01-20-14 bz panel 01-21-14 bz panel 01-22-14Bizarro is brought to you today by The Power of Three.

Since it is Wednesday and I have not yet posted any cartoons this week, you get three. Hooray, wunderbar, groovy.

 

 

1. If your cholesterol and weight are high your doctor may say he’d like to “get your numbers down.” But this patient is an ancient Roman so he uses the word “numerals” instead. That is supposed to be the joke. What happens next is the doctor is cleaved in half by a sword and his head is displayed on a pike in the town square. I didn’t include that in the gag because it’s gross. (more…)

Fundamentals of Fame

Bizarro 01-12-14 hedrWEBBizarro 01-12-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by On-The-Job Surprises.

This cartoon may be a bit subtle at first, but if you put some time into it you may find some chuckles. The main gag is the first layer, of course, but there are a few “Easter eggs” hidden in the background for added smiles, so click on the image to enlarge it and have a party. Plus, there are nine hidden icons. (more…)

Beasts of Love

bz panel 12-11-13bz strip 12-11-13Bizarro is brought to you today by I Didn’t Name This Album, I Only Linked To It.

Those living outside the Jazz Pickle Jar may think that Bunny’s Pie Repair has something to do with this gag but it doesn’t, really. It’s just a fun store to stand in front of when you’re part of a cartoon. (more…)

Love You To Death

Bizarro 10-13-13 WEB1 (You may enbiggenate this cartoon by clicking on the detective’s gold shield.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Love and Death.

Some may find today’s cartoon a bit morbid, but it is my firm belief that most elderly couples who’ve been together for decades secretly wish each other dead.

From an anthropological perspective, humans are not meant to be “married” for more than 20 years. The biological purpose of marriage and monogamy is to ensure the man that any child the woman has belongs to him and ensure the woman that she’ll have help raising her incredibly slow-growing offspring. But since we humans are impossibly complex, mutant apes, we’ve built myriad other functions and expectations into the marriage relationship. Now that we live so much longer than we used to, it causes problems. (more…)

Coulro Me Phobic

bz panel 08-10-13bz strip 08-10-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Nightmare Meal.

I have often claimed on this blog to be afraid of clowns, but actually I have not been since I was kid. But being afraid of a strangely dressed stranger seems like a logical choice for a child. As an adult, I avoid clowns but it’s because I’m just not comfortable interacting with someone who is comfortable being a clown in public. (How people dress or act at home is their own business.) It’s probably the introvert/extrovert thing again. (more…)

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