Clarity

bz panel 11-21-13bz strip 11-21-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Mustache Overkill.

So I’ve been including a mustache in most all of my cartoons in November, as part of that Movember movement thing. Can you find the hidden mustache in this image? Here’s a hint: it’s under the doctor’s nose.

If I were an optometrist or ophthalmologist (what’s with the extra letters in that word, for chaos’ sake?) I’d have a traditional eye chart printed up in this typeface, just to screw with patients. See how that works? I’d be the “funny doctor.” But I wouldn’t stop there, I’d go ahead and fit them with glasses that make the poster clear again, then send them off to buy glasses as thick as butcher block table. Oh, the laughs we’d have. (more…)

App Monster Stooge Car Caveman

Bizarro is brought to you today by Abstract Motors.

My life is getting exponentially busier lately and I barely have time to post. In fact, I don’t have time today but I am crowbarring it into my schedule like John Goodman into a pair of Spankx.

Here are the cartoons I’ve published since I last posted. This first one is about an app that my iPhone came with. It runs whenever I’m not using it and reminds me each time I take it out of my pocket how empty life is. (sigh) (more…)

Walrus Extravaganza

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Lennon Chair.

Hello again, Bizarro Jazz Pickles. I’ve been away from my beloved blog for too long and our reunion is like sweet nectar from the gods. (My personal faith involves several gods who closely resemble giant hummingbirds.)

Yesterday I moved into my new place in LA and I’m very happy about it. I’ve been staying with my swell pal, Adam Paul, for the past several weeks and he has been the coolest guy ever. But I’m looking forward to being in a place of my own and getting back to work! As anyone who has strayed more than 40 feet from the place of their birth knows, moving is a miserable affair. Many thanks to Adam for his friendship and generosity and to his French bulldog, Roscoe, for his cuddling and saliva. If you ever have a rubber squeaky toy that you want to get rid of for good, don’t throw it while Roscoe is around because he’ll only bring it right back. (more…)