Bark Bark

Bizarro 11-15-15 HdrWEB

(To embiggenate any cartoon, click it or something.)Bizarro 11-15-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Making the Best of a Plumbing Leak.

I watched a lot of episodes of “Lassie” when I was a kid and they were all pretty much like this: Lassie and the boy are wandering around killing time, the boy gets in trouble (trapped somewhere), Lassie runs back to the adults and barks at them, they follow him to the boy and save him. It was dull by modern TV standards and I can’t say that I watched it for entertainment as much as for the comfort that comes from predictability. Like the reason people used to be hooked on the comic strip “Nancy” when still drawn by Bushmiller. You knew it would be a shamelessly corny joke every day and you were never wrong. There’s something comforting about that.

Party Pummeling

Bizarro 05-19-13 WEB(For an expanded state of consciousness [and a bigger view of this comic] click on the Piñata’s chakra.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Nothing.

Modern American parents often worry about more than parents did “back in the day.” Some wonder if this popular birthday party game is teaching our kids that if you beat an animal to death with a stick, you will be rewarded with candy. On the contrary, I believe this game is a valuable tool for rooting out potential sociopaths. If your child takes that lesson from a piñata game and begins beating live animals in search of candy, you likely have a future serial killer on your hands. Or at least a slaughterhouse worker. (more…)

Hairy Donkey

(To see this cartoon bigger, click the ear with the hair coming out of it.)             (To see it upside-down and backwards, click here.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sad News.

As a man who has lost a bit of protein real estate on my north forty, I feel I can honestly critique the “comb-over”. Gentlemen; it looks terrible. Just go with what nature gave you and “own it,” as they say. Confidence in who you are is so much more attractive than any amount of hair flowing over, hovering above, or swirling across places where it no longer grows. We live in a time when being completely bald is not only acceptable, it is fashionable. Embrace it. (more…)

Pie Swallower Sideshow

Bizarro is brought to you today by True Patriotism!

Hope all of you readers in the U.S. had a jazztown, hootenanny, goodtimes Independence Day weekend! I just woke up hours ago in a gutter at Coney Island where I spent July 4th. No idea what happened between then and now, but I’m back at headquarters safe and (reasonably) sound. (more…)