Ned Panda Electric Foot

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Book Recommendation.

 

If you don’t get this first gag, it’s because you’ve not heard of TED talks, and that’s not my fault.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you don’t get this gag, it’s because you’ve never heard of panda bears and/or cosmetic surgery, and how is that even possible?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you don’t get this one, it’s likely because you don’t know how much havoc we have wreaked on the planet or that animal agriculture is at the top of the list of polluters. By not purchasing animal products (or purchasing far fewer) you can lessen your carbon footprint by a much larger amount than if you drive an electric car. Word. (more…)

Casual Probing Racism Comb-over

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I moved from NYC to LA a few years ago and have become even more keenly aware of the differences in their cultures than I was when I was only visiting here. Life in California is generally so much more relaxed than in NYC, which isn’t surprising, but the effect it has on people is glorious. The average person on the street––behind a counter or reception desk, answering a phone call for a business, driving a bus, etc.––is friendlier by a factor of 6.3 (by my unofficial calculations) than their East Coast counterparts. I love that about the West. Thinking along this line, I couldn’t help imagining the clash between how things are done in offices in the east compared to the west. (more…)

Nose Lice Feet

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Clever Ways to Dispose of Evidence.

My Friday offering this week is an obvious reference to the old adage, “You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”  Now you can.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This cartoon is an attempt to ruin your next selfie. The only reason school children get head lice more often than adults is that they are more likely put their heads together. Parents get them from their kids by hugging them. So it stands to reason that the “selfie” craze will be a boon to the head lice community. Thus far, we have ascertained that cell phones give people brain tumors and head lice. What next? Rotating Buttock Syndrome? (more…)

Me and Angelina

bz panel 06-10-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Wonders of Cosmetic Surgery.

This one is a result of collaboration with my good friend and TV writer, Andy Cowan. He got the idea watching a commercial for a company called “Lifestyle Lift” that advertises affordable, one-hour facelifts. Sure. Because how-your-face-is-going-to-look-for-the-rest-of-your-life  is where you want to save some money and time. (more…)

Poisonous Beauty

bz panel 06-06-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Hideous Disfigurements.

I love this gag but I figured I’d get questions about it. The simple answer is that Botox is supposed to eliminate crow’s feet. (In Canada, they are better known as “crow’s centimeters.”)

I have a couple of crows that live in my backyard, Joe and Flo. They live there with Earl the squirrel, Darrow the sparrow, Robin the robin, Dale and Gail the snails, Jake the snake, and Schneider the spider. Joe and Flo are my friends, so I warned them about Botox since we live near Hollywood and the local trash bins are overflowing with old containers of the stuff.bz strip 06-06-13 (more…)