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Silent Security

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(A most rewarding experience awaits you when you click an image to embiggenate.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by What Exactly Are They Suggesting?!

Today’s cartoon has 8 secret symbols and a handful of background gags that are fun, so you’ll want to embiggenate it. (My favorite background gag is the truck.) The main gag is a bit of a populist joke––to borrow an oft-used term of late––because most people seem to dislike the cliche, public street mime, the sort I’ve depicted here. I’ve long been on record as a person who finds that clowns, mimes, and street performers of all kinds just make me uncomfortable. I go out of my way to avoid and ignore them. My apologies to any readers who are street performers. I don’t mean to disparage your chosen career or hobby, it just doesn’t work for me. Kind of like door-to-door evangelists.
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Seeing/Believing

 

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(To embiggenate any image, click on your favorite color in that cartoon.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by A Reason To Look Forward To Mondays. Or Not.

I’ve enjoyed optical illusions since childhood, so this cartoon about them was fun to draw. Unfortunately, you can’t incorporate most optical illusions into a street scene (like this one, which only appears to be moving), so I had to rely on tricks of perspective and such, most of which were inspired by the great draftsman, M. C. Escher. I don’t know how many illusions there are in this picture, but here’s a list of the ones I can see. 1) Window at top left is the wrong perspective for that wall 2) Pie in lower left corner is too far back not to hit wall (which also makes it look like it’s floating) 3) Man’s foot disappears behind line where sidewalk joins the wall 4) Same man has classic optical illusion on T-shirt (both lines are the same length) 5) Same man’s face looks like a different man’s face if you turn it upside down (an ancient classic illusion) 6) Stick inside folded sign is wrong perspective 7) Man giving money could not reach hat from where he stands 8) Street lamp across street crosses in front of wall in foreground 9) Boy stealing hat from across street 10) Stairs inside doorway across the street are sideways 11) Tire on sports car (1971 Fiat X1/9, by request from a reader) is wrong perspective. 12) background colors on sign is the classic box illusion, seen here. That’s all I can find, let me know if you find more. I didn’t list the two bunnies or the upside-down bird because those things could exist in that space.
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Uber Legume

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(For some real good embiggenation, click any image with your clicker deal.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Words of Wisdom From Yesteryear.

Hey, Jazz Pickles. Sorry for the delayed post, I’m out of town and things are wonky.

The cartoon above is a pun on the Uber phenomenon, which has revolutionized the taxi industry; cheaper and more efficient for the consumer, not a good thing for the traditional taxi folks. But that’s beside the point. The point here is a frivolous pun about Uber and goober. (Goober is slang for “peanut”.) The car is a Mercury Comet from the 70s. I like drawing vintage vehicles, especially oddball, goofy ones like this. The truck being used in this cartoon by Bunny’s Pie Repair is some kind of mid-century, British utility van that I found a picture of on the Interwebs. I don’t remember the name of it. Be sure to click on the image and embiggenate it to find the various background jokes and the secret symbols, which today number 7.
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Creepy Friends

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(To achieve embiggenation, close your eyes, click your heels together, and click any image.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by What We Do Now.

I’ve done a lot of Noah’s Ark cartoons and I think I’ve still got a few left in me. The same reason myths like these endure for centuries among the population is the reason they provide so much fodder for humor. These myths say something important about the human condition as we stumble through life on Earth.
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Cave Trees

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(If it is embiggenation that you seek, click any man-made object in any cartoon.)Bizarro 11-29-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by A Favorite Holiday Bizarro Cartoon.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’m not a person who enjoys what we Americans call “the holiday season”. I like Halloween but as soon as it is over the streets, shops, and homes of our communities are filled with songs and decorations that remind one at a glance of why suicide statistics shoot up at this time of year. I’ve known and lived with people who, like the woman in my cartoon above, cannot wait until the next opportunity to decorate their home like the set of an episode of Martha Stewart, and would likely have found a way to do so even tens of thousands of years before the holiday was even invented. I don’t mean to criticize those people; I don’t hate you, I just hate some of the things you love. There’s a big difference.
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Cat Fancy

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Just got back from a weekend in San Francisco, a city that Olive Oyl and I dearly love and would live in if it weren’t for the weather. Unless the sun is shining, I’m genetically programmed to be a serial killer, so I try to live where my neighbors and loved ones will be safe.
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Lawyer Spelunker Nobody Prison

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Let My People Go.

 

Monday’s cartoon: I could never be an attorney because I wouldn’t be able to make myself fight for guilty or rotten people. Also because I find giant books full of rules make me want to move to another planet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tuesday’s: I love caves and I love the word “spelunking.” I try to use it in casual conversation at least once each day. (more…)

Sunday Punnies #35

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Self Defense Advice.

Here is number 35 in my series of “Sunday Punnies,” which are puns donated by readers, then expertly interpreted and illustrated by the best artist I could find without leaving my house. Congrats this time goes to Jay Branscomb, Cliff Harris (yes, The King of Wordplay), and Martin Baker.  If you have an original pun that you’d like to submit, leave it in the comments section of any post on this blog and I’ll consider it. Here are the rules: (more…)

Amputee Gore Explosion Unibat

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I like this batch of three cartoons quite a lot and got some interesting mail regarding two of them.

The first cartoon about the Scarecrow’s difficulty with the horses of Oz attracted this email comment: “I enjoy Bizarro very much but as an old retired newspaper editor I can’t resist commenting on today’s strip.  Obviously you are a city kid.  Otherwise you would know that a straw man would never be eaten by horses.  Horses do not eat straw.  Horses eat hay.  Horses bed down in straw.  Horses poop in straw (which might be worse than being eaten).  But horses do not eat straw.” (more…)

Escape Photo Evidence Beer

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Where Jazz Pickles Go To Mate.

 

One enduring question of evolution is why sea creatures began slithering onto land. In the first cartoon of this post, I present my theory.

 

 

 

 

 

My second cartoon today is another of my Bigfoot renditions, of which I’ve done many. A few people have asked me what this one means, exactly. If you are one of those who are wondering, I would ask if you’ve ever tried to get a good picture of Bigfoot. (more…)

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