Three to Five Smiles

bz panel 01-20-14 bz panel 01-21-14 bz panel 01-22-14Bizarro is brought to you today by The Power of Three.

Since it is Wednesday and I have not yet posted any cartoons this week, you get three. Hooray, wunderbar, groovy.

 

 

1. If your cholesterol and weight are high your doctor may say he’d like to “get your numbers down.” But this patient is an ancient Roman so he uses the word “numerals” instead. That is supposed to be the joke. What happens next is the doctor is cleaved in half by a sword and his head is displayed on a pike in the town square. I didn’t include that in the gag because it’s gross. (more…)

A Wasted But Amusing Life

Bizarro is brought to you today by Life!

I have mixed feelings about the Internet. On the one hand, it is clearly the most life-changing and useful tool that human kind has invented since the wheel. (Thanks, Al!) On the other hand, because of it, we all lose years of our lives looking at mindless entertainment like cute cats, funny videos, and porn. Am I glad I grew up in a time before it was available? Yes; I spent a lot of time outdoors exploring the world from micro to macro, which I would not have done had I been given access to a computer. Now that I have it at my disposal, would I want to live without the Internet for even a single week? No. Not a chance. Back away from my computer or I’ll stab you with these scissors. (more…)