Houseguests

(Find yourself wanting more embiggenation out of any of these cartoons? This desire can be satisfied by the mere clickage of the images.)

Happy holidays and other things, Jazz Pickles! I hope you’re having (or have had) a lovely holiday month and that the good times will continue to roll into the new year. As a special holiday treat, I’ve put some of my favorite Bizarro holiday cartoons of the past behind the blue links in this post, so be sure to click those and claim your BONUS CHUCKLES––you’ve earned them! (Don’t ask me how you’ve earned them. I’m only pretending to know you.) Let’s start with this mash-up of competing mythologies.

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Red-nosed Reefer

bz panel 12-24-13bz strip 12-24-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Family Time!

Oh, my, it’s Christmas Eve! Here at Rancho Bizarro (where I live, as opposed to Bizarro International Headquarters, where I and my team of mutant camels create Bizarro products) we don’t put up a tree, but rather a green folding chair with all of the delightful holiday cards we’ve received this season taped to it. So far, there are three, but the mail hasn’t arrived yet today. Thanks to my parents, Kate and Michael, and John and Anne, who sent cards. Your unnecessary depletion of our planet’s precious, life-sustaining forests is much appreciated! (more…)

Santa Ruminant Heathen Odorless Maneuver Amputee Webcam

(To see this cartoon as big as the star over the nativity scene, click the ball on Santa’s hat.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Christmas Kidnapping.

The bizarre and convoluted imagery of modern-day Christmas has fascinated me since I was old enough to notice it. (Sometime in my teens.) I’ve since learned that there are many and various ancient myths and holidays that were incorporated into it over the centuries, including the virgin birth (the birth of heroes to virgins, often with some kind of god as the father, are common in many pre-Christian mythologies), the king born of poverty (another common mythological element and likely the reason that to this day, Americans like to vote for a “down home” candidate for president, the sort you’d want to “have a beer with”), the Christmas tree, (a pagan symbol of the winter solstice), and Santa Claus (derived from the pre-Christian, Germanic god, Odin, who flew through the skies giving gifts at Yule [Dec 25] on an eight-legged horse, later morphed into eight reindeer.) Anyway, for the past couple of Christmases, I’ve had some fun combining modern elements of the holiday with the original nativity scene of Christian mythology. Here’s last year’s, in case you’ve forgotten. (more…)