Running For Souls

bz panel 11-22-13bz strip 11-22-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Identity Theft.

There are few things with the enduring humor of someone other than the Pope dressed like the Pope. It’s a simple equation, really: only one person is the world has the “right” to dress in this outfit and that person has claimed supremacy over all other living beings on the planet as the infallible, divine representative of GOD on earth. So to dress as the Pope not only works on the level that outdated, historical costumes work, but also in making a comment about the person’s arrogance or irreverence, or both. I know it is cliche and the shock value of it wore of ages ago, but I still get a kick out of it. Plus, miters (those phalic Pope hats) are fun to draw. On a side note, I am disappointed in myself (especially as a recovering Catholic) that I forgot to draw the streamers on the back of the hat. Here’s what they should have looked like, only blowing in the wind.




BYGONE BIZARRO: Oddly enough, just yesterday a Jazz Pickle asked me about an old cartoon of mine about the same subject. I was able to find it in my tornado-aftermath of an archive and so I can now bring it to you. BZ 09-08-05 standup heaven

Rubber Limbs

bz panel 06-20-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Perfect Gift.


I’ve always enjoyed sports and exercise but I gave up running long ago because the constant impact is hard on one’s body. Recently, like a good Californian, I took up yoga. I did it because I’ve never been even remotely flexible and was beginning to routinely experience pain in my back, something my father has had a lot of trouble with in his senior years. In fact, Dad has become so inflexible in bz strip 06-20-13recent years that he is basically frozen in a fully-standing position and must be wheeled around on a hand truck like a figure from a wax museum.

I expected to hate yoga because as a person who couldn’t touch his knees without bending his knees (touching my toes was completely out of the question) stretching was actually quite painful. I’m happy to report, however, that after six months of yoga three times a week, I’m feeling better than I have since I was a kid. I can now touch my toes without bending my knees, my six pack is back (maybe a four pack), my balance and strength are much improved, my back virtually never hurts anymore, and my man boobs are gone. (Okay, I never had man boobs, but a fellow can fantasize, can’t he?)

My instructor has been doing it so long, she can actually swallow her own legs and balance on her thumbs. It’s disgusting but amazing.