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Charlatans

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(For a more embigginated experience, click any redish color in any cartoon.)Bizarro 03-20-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Walk This Way.

My cartoon today is about the disappointment one feels when they trust someone to fix things and that person turns out to be a charlatan. We’ve all experienced this with politicians and one can read that message as the subtext to the Wizard of Oz: The man at the top, the Great Wizard of Oz, is just a regular guy pulling switches and levers to make himself seem more powerful than he really is. A person can also easily see this as an allegory of Donald Trump’s current campaign.
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Flash Fire

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(See some of these images larger by clicking and embiggenating them.)
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Bizarro is brought to you today by The First Plausible Explanation I’ve Heard.

There’s a raging controversy on social media this morning about the Christmas tree cartoon above and whether or not the symbol count (small number above my signature) matches the number of actual Secret Symbols hidden therein. Okay, perhaps not a “raging” controversy, but a couple of people have written polite notes asking me what’s up. If you go to Bizarro.com and look at the cartoon posted there in the main frame at the top for today, March 6, 2016, you’ll see that the “K2” on the rooftop door of the building in the upper-right corner of the cartoon is missing. I remember when I submitted this cartoon four weeks ago that my editor told me the symbol count didn’t match, and upon inspection I saw that I had somehow deleted the K2 from the door in one of the hundreds of complicated technologically scientific steps it takes to create one of these images. I remember replacing it and sending the corrected one to King Features but somehow it didn’t make it to the online version. I’m not sure if it made it to the newspaper version, perhaps not. So here now is the corrected version with all six symbols. If you want to see where they all are, here’s a version with the symbols circled. 
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The Week in Wackadoodle

bizarro 01-11-15 hdr WEBBizarro 01-11-15 WEBbz panel 01-05-15bz strip 01-05-15bz panel 01-06-15bz strip 01-06-15bz panel 01-07-15bz strip 01-07-15bz panel 01-08-15bz strip 01-08-15bz panel 01-09-15bz strip 01-09-15bz panel 01-10-15bz strip 01-10-15Bizarro is brought to you today by My Favorite Kind of Drum Music.

My big Sunday cartoon today (click it to make it bigger) is about a topic that has been on my mind a bit lately. I ride motorcycles and a bicycle through the streets of Los Angeles and cannot tell you the number of times I’ve almost been mowed down by someone messing with their smartphone while they are supposed to be driving. Seriously, people, is your Facebook status or that text that just came in worth spending time in prison for manslaughter? But, like all dark clouds, there is a silver lining: I never wait in traffic lines anymore when I need to get over into a crowded lane. I just go past the traffic, then slowly and calmly move into the desired lane at the last minute in any one of several huge gaps left by people who are looking at their smartphones instead of moving when it’s their turn. Most of them don’t even notice I’m cutting in line because to do that, they’d have to be paying attention to what can be seen through the windshield of their car.
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Spyware Neutering

bizarro 08-31-14 hedrWEB Bizarro 08-31-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Invisible Man on Vacation.

As they say in my home state of Oklahoma, I went “hog-ass wild” on the art on today’s comic. Not only are there a whopping 10 secret symbols to look for, don’t miss the extra details I put in this one, or my toil will have been in vain. The reflections in the counter tops and floors, the nuanced positions of the characters as they record their every movement (bowels included?) with their smart phones, and the tiny image in the screen of the phone of the man in the foreground. I hope you enjoy it. If you will allow me to be even more immodest for a moment, I’d also like to say that I’m proud of this gag. (For a larger view, click any coffee mug.) (more…)

Church Murder Bird Poop

bz panel 08-28-14bz strip 08-28-14bz panel 08-29-14bz strip 08-29-14bz panel 08-30-14bz strip 08-30-14Bizarro is brought to you today by The Glamorous World of Taxis.

I’ve done a few Batman cartoons wherein I riff on the animal choices for he and Robin’s alter-egos. This suggestion, however, came from my good friend and colleague in cartooning, Dan McConnell. (I’ve asked Dan to double all of the consonants in his first and last name, but he resists.) You can see his original suggestion for this comic here. (more…)

Selfie Sample Guru Bus

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Bizarro is brought to you today by The Least You Can Do.

I’m in my mid-fifties and have been thinking about social media lately. I’ve gone through stages where I didn’t understand it, then I got into it, then I thought it was necessary for my business and getting the most out of life, and now I’m thinking it has nothing to do with my happiness and is likely a detriment to it. Life happens in a much more profound and satisfying way in person and it is actually true that the best things in life are free. I still use it to a small degree, of course, in ways that it facilitates me, but I’ll never be a Twitter Star. I don’t take as many selfies as younger folks, either. I know that selfies are not literally “social media” but they figure in. (more…)

Nose Lice Feet

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Clever Ways to Dispose of Evidence.

My Friday offering this week is an obvious reference to the old adage, “You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.”  Now you can.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This cartoon is an attempt to ruin your next selfie. The only reason school children get head lice more often than adults is that they are more likely put their heads together. Parents get them from their kids by hugging them. So it stands to reason that the “selfie” craze will be a boon to the head lice community. Thus far, we have ascertained that cell phones give people brain tumors and head lice. What next? Rotating Buttock Syndrome? (more…)

Invisible Gluten Table Monsters

bz panel 04-28-14bz strip 04-28-14bz panel 04-29-14bz strip 04-29-14bz panel 04-30-14-1bz strip 04-30-14bz panel 05-01-14bz strip 05-01-14Bizarro is brought to you today by A Kinder, Gentler Godzilla.

 

Apart from the amusing nature of a seemingly-floating cell phone, how many other cartoons give you the grandiose beauty of a scenic outlook in such realistic detail? Besides Dilbert, I mean.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you gluten free? From what I’ve read, very few people actually have problems with gluten but the vast publicity it has gotten has caused an avalanche of psychosomatic symptoms. Never underestimate the power of suggestion on the human mind. Whatever works for you. (more…)

Falling Depth Arm Philosophy

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Happy early April, Jazz Pickles. I’ve been as busy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs lately as I plan to escape Bizarro International Headquarters next week for a bit of time off. Yes, even super-human cartoonists need time off from comedy from time to time, so I’ll be going where nothing is ever funny: Oklahoma. (more…)

Visible Humor

bz panel 11-06-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Funeral Fun!

The Invisible Man’s selfie is a zen joke. So little there, but so many philosophical interpretations. Does one truly exist if one is invisible? Was the Invisible Man naked when he took this or is it a closeup of just his face? What would God’s selfie look like? Would a smart phone be able to compensate for the blinding light of His omnipotence so you could actually make out the long, white beard and the vengeful, jealous look in his eyes? (Nahum 1:2-8)  Now that I think of it, is the Invisible Man’s selfie in the same category as Anthony Weiner’s selfies? If so, I clandestinely managed to get porn into newspapers all over the world. (I’ve not posted the strip version of this because, guess what, it’s no different.)bz panel 11-07-13 (more…)

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