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Crawling Through Cliches

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(A desire to embiggenate can be satisfied by clicking any of these cartoons.)

Bizarro 05-01-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Simpson’s Shout-Out to Jazz Pickles.

As I’ve said before on this blog, I enjoy doing cartoons within the canon of popular cartoon tropes like the desert island, the shrink’s couch, the man crawling through a desert, etc. Here I combine two of them and use another trope: the self-referential cartoon. Self-referential cartoons can be dangerous because if they’re too easy––a character simply noticing he is in a cartoon without anything more substantial to say about it––it can elicit a groan. I hope not too many people groaned at this one. I thought it was fun.
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Successful Inferior Parakeet Hostage

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Dressing For Success.

 

I’m not sure where this gentleman is from but wherever it is, he’s enviably successful. And, I want to live there. (For a print of this cartoon, go here.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My own personal adventures in therapy have yielded amazing results and by following this simple credo––Be an inferior version of someone better than you––I’ve become who I am today. Just think of me as a poor man’s Walt Disney. (For a print of this cartoon, go here.) (more…)

Seuss Goth Magic Santa Alien

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Willing Victims.

I’ve always been one to think of “ordinary” things objectively, which is why I’m fairly good at coming up with cartoons. As a kid, I often wondered why cow’s milk was fine but horse or dog or pig milk was revolting. Eventually, I became repulsed by cow’s milk, as well, and as it turns out it’s a pretty unhealthy thing for humans to consume, contrary to everything you’ve heard all your life. That kind of thinking (and research) led me to adopt a vegan diet over 12 years ago, which has greatly improved my health and happiness. That kind of thinking also led to this cartoon about eating famous Seuss characters. (more…)

Moody Warning Congrats Burial

bz panel 03-27-14bz panel 03-28-14bz strip 03-28-14bz panel 03-29-14bz strip 03-29-14(To enlargenate any comic, click on any character’s nose.)

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Learn to Count!

I got an angry comment from a reader about this Hulk cartoon, accusing me of “perpetuating stigma about mental illness.” I apologized for upsetting her but pointed out that the absurdity of this cartoon is enough to prevent people from taking it seriously enough to form opinions about sufferers of bipolar disorder. I’ve several friends and family members with this disorder and I’ve suffered from severe depression my entire adult life (controlled now by meds) so I fully understand both the seriousness and the stigma. If anyone else was offended, please don’t turn green and bust out of your clothes over it. (more…)

Fear Fear Mob

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Required Reading.

 

In spite of the look of this cartoon, it actually has nothing to do with politics. I’m not making a comment about Republicans here, only using their logo because it is an elephant and peanuts would logically be afraid of elephants. Any botanist will tell you that peanuts are known for their logic. I stay away from politics much more these days than I used to because it’s such a disheartening subject. (more…)

Dance Your Blues Away

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bz strip 01-18-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Finally! A Sensible Product!

In case you were dead or not yet born during the disco craze, “get down” was a phrase used when a person was dancing with great enthusiasm. Maybe it didn’t even originate with the disco folks, maybe it was fans of funk. I have no idea. But the gag remains the same. (more…)

Cuckoo Time

bz panel 11-20-13Bizarro is brought to you today by The Perfect Hangover Snack.

Well, now. This is a weird little gag about a cuckoo clock that sees a shrink. I can only imagine the sort of twisted mind that would arrive at this scenario, and it belongs to my good buddy and cartoony colleague, Dan McConnell. Seriously, what is wrong with that guy? (more…)

Small Threats

bz panel 08-31-13dogdreambz strip 08-31-13dogdreamBizarro is made possible today by At Least It’s Fresh.

I’ve known many dogs in my 659 months of life and I think I know a thing or two about what I imagine they might be thinking or dreaming about. As an imaginary expert in the field of dog psychology, I can assure you that dogs do, in fact, fantasize about having the abilities of humans in regards to activities like driving cars and running down pedestrians. Most people assume that dogs chase cars because they mistake them for prey, but the truth is that dogs desperately want to drive. Other common dog fantasies include riding the subway, having lunch at expensive restaurants while sitting in a chair, playing ping pong, and humping the legs of celebrities. Favorite celebrities of dog’s fantasies include Justin Timberlake, Anna Gunn, Michael Jordon, Hillary Clinton, and Jay Leno. (more…)

Shrinkage

bz panel 07-08-13bz strip 07-08-13Bizarro is inflicted on you today by Magical Foods.

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I love psychotherapy. I don’t love the expense so I can’t go every week; I simply visit one for a few weeks or months when I’m having a specific problem in my life. Like the time a few years ago when I couldn’t decide between growing a ridiculous mustache or getting giant breast implants. A shrink helped me make the right decision. (more…)

Mirror Viewers

bz panel 06-01-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Alternate Lifestyle Hygiene.

Have ever felt you were being watched? When I was a little kid, I had this ongoing fantasy for years that I was the only real human and I was created by an alien civilization that was watching me through mirrors. The entire earth and all of its other inhabitants were androids put here as an experiment to see how I would react. I never really believed it, but anytime I walked past a mirror, I would look into it and wink, not at myself, but at the aliens watching me. Just in case I was right, I wanted them to know I had figured it out. (more…)

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