Basket Drivers

bizarro 01-17-16 hdrWEB

(To instigate the embiggification process, click a limb of any mammal in any image.)Bizarro 01-17-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Fortune Telling Cartoons.

Today’s double-wide Sunday cartoon is simple but I like it. You may need to click the cartoon to instigate the embiggification process in order to fully get the gag.

bz panel 01-11-16

I don’t fish anymore and have no interest in it but I used to as a kid so I know of what I speak. I suspect the lack of activity is exactly what many avid fishermen like. I don’t eat fish, either, and never have in any large quantities because I can’t stand the way anything that lives in water tastes. That includes all species of fish (saltwater or freshwater) shellfish, squid, octopus, and seaweed. It all has the same horrendous, foul, rotted-flesh taste to me. I’ve tried many times over the course of my life to learn to like it but have come to the conclusion that my revulsion toward it is genetically programmed. I also firmly believe that the oceans are being systematically destroyed by commercial fishing and since the oceans are the engine of weather on our planet, the prognosis isn’t good. I also dislike the fact that fish are left to suffocate when we catch them. It has always bothered me that there is no way to put a fish out of its misery quickly and humanely. Oops. I just took all the fun out of this cartoon, didn’t I? Sorry.
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Casual Probing Racism Comb-over

bz panel 09-15-14bz strip 09-15-14bz panel 09-16-14bz strip 09-16-14bz panel 09-17-14bz strip 09-17-14Bizarro is brought to you today by How To Fill A Diaper.

I moved from NYC to LA a few years ago and have become even more keenly aware of the differences in their cultures than I was when I was only visiting here. Life in California is generally so much more relaxed than in NYC, which isn’t surprising, but the effect it has on people is glorious. The average person on the street––behind a counter or reception desk, answering a phone call for a business, driving a bus, etc.––is friendlier by a factor of 6.3 (by my unofficial calculations) than their East Coast counterparts. I love that about the West. Thinking along this line, I couldn’t help imagining the clash between how things are done in offices in the east compared to the west. (more…)

Guns and Salad

bizarro 05-25-14 hedrBizarro 05-25-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Land of the Free.

 

For those Jazz Pickles who have never been to a U.S. state that allows random citizens to carry firearms (yes, Europe, we have those) you’ve never likely seen a sign on the door of a shop that says to check your gun at the door. And you’ve almost certainly never seen one of these. (more…)

Cell Signals

bz panel 07-19-13bz strip 07-19-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Smoke Signals Over My Back Yard Last Week.

There was a time when I resisted getting a cell phone when most of my friends already had them. Even after I gave in, I rarely used it and it didn’t ring but once or twice a month because so few people had my number. Now, more than ten years later, I’m never without it. Not only do I never leave the house without it (unthinkable!) but I never leave the room without it. I carry it with me to the bathroom for a quick pee, I pop it into my pocket when I go out to check the mail. It’s amazing how these newfangled technologies worm their way into your life and you can’t live without them. It’s a lot like dating; you figure you’ll try it for a while and before you know it, you’re married. (more…)

Smoky Chubby

(Are you among the six or seven people who would like to see this cartoon bigger? Then just click on any Indian’s butt.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Smoke.

One of my favorite readers is a young fella called Victor. He first sent me some cartoon ideas of his when he was a wee tyke of about 13 or 14. I’ve been using a few of his ideas each year ever since. These days, I use even more than a few. Now he’s a big, grown-up lug of a human in his last year of college. My, how time flies. Especially when you’re as drunk as I usually am. (more…)